


She's my weakness

by ChaseSpero



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-06-09 11:57:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 27,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6905302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaseSpero/pseuds/ChaseSpero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starts off in Season 4, where we've seen Vera already talk to Joan, this is my take on a conversation that never happened in the episode. Complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[](http://s1174.photobucket.com/user/chasespero/media/PEDAL%20WORKS_zpsb6yapqbi.jpg.html)

Vera sighed as she straightened her jacket ready to leave her office, she could already feel a headache forming and she had only been at work for 2 hours.

Prisoner Ferguson had apparently asked to see her again and honestly this was something Vera did not need but after being made Governor, it was up to her to make sure the prisoners were okay including Ferguson. It was only yesterday when she came face to face for the second time this week with Ferguson and that was because Ferguson well...Joan she had wanted to discuss what role she wanted for when she was put in general population. Now this was the most ludicrous idea, Vera had deeply expressed to Channing how much of a bad idea this was yet he said to 'give her what she wants.'

What was it with Joan? Vera thought as she made her way to the protection unit, she had a way of getting underneath everyone's skin, especially Vera's she had always done that. It wasn't something Vera ever admitted and she observed other people too, what with Channing and Bridget, Joan had walked all over them.

Stepping up to the glass, Vera cleared her throat as she stared at Joan. Vera continued to stare as Joan had her back to her, knowing that even without saying anything Joan knew Vera was standing there. Vera hovered her finger over the button to talk to her and opened her mouth to say something but closed it again.

Joan turned around and slowly walked towards the glass, keeping eye contact with Vera as she did. Vera waited and Joan raised her eyebrow and nodded towards the button and Vera pressed it.

"Vera." Joan said in that chilling tone she used.

"It's governor." Vera said and Joan smirked.

"Yes, yes so Vera about myself being put into general population. I believe it will happen tomorrow and I've already discussed my requirements with you, have you made it possible?"

Vera shook her head and scoffed,

"You cannot go into general population, you do realise what will happen to you? I strongly advise you not to do this."

"One has to wonder if you care about me Vera, you're obviously very passionate about me staying here." Joan said watching how her choice of words affected Vera.

"Passionate? care about you? Listen Joan, I mean prisoner Ferguson." Vera sighed, she was getting flustered,how had she let that slip out?

"I am the governor and you are a prisoner and as a governor my duty is to look after the prisoners." Vera said, attempting to sound strong.

"If you say so...but tell me Vera, that night we spent together. You haven't forgotten about it have you?"

Vera opened her mouth but nothing came out, the truth was and as Vera looked at Joan, she knew Joan knew the answer. The truth was, no she hadn't forgot about that night and there in lay the problem.

Joan Ferguson was her weakness.

 

 


	2. Going back

 Vera turned around and practically ran in the direction of her office, she left a smiling Joan behind and she hurriedly waited for an Officer to open the gate. Eventually she got to her office and pushed open her door and shut it behind her, leaning against the door. She found herself sliding down and sitting on floor with her head in her hands and tears threatening to fall.

“I can’t do this.” Vera whispered to the empty room.

There was a sudden knock to the door which made Vera jump, she got up and took a deep breath before opening the door and it was Bridget.

“Yes?” Vera said.

“I was wondering if you wanted to have a chat about what’s going to happen with Joan tomorrow.”

“No I don’t!” Vera said, shouting at Bridget who held her hands up.“Is everything okay?” 

Bridget asked, knowing the obvious that there was.

“I’ll be fine, just…come back later.”

Bridget nodded and left without saying another word and Vera sat down in the chair behind the desk and found herself thinking about what just happened with Joan. Her words,

_'That night we spent together, you haven’t forgotten about it have you?'_

They just kept going round and round and Vera found herself thinking about it, that night…

_It all started off with Vera turning up at Joan’s place, when the door opened Vera was standing there suddenly feeling really nervous and thinking that this was a stupid idea. It wasn’t until she saw Joan smiling, a warm, friendly smile did Vera then calm down a little._

_“A pleasant surprise, please come in Vera.”_

_Vera smiled slightly and walked inside; Joan shut the door and motioned for Vera to follow her to the living room._

_“Take a seat.”_ _Joan said pointing at the sofa._

_Vera hesitated at first but then she sat down and Joan sat beside her, there was a somewhat awkward silence, well it was awkward for Vera._

_“I-“_

_“So-“_

_Both women smiled as they spoke at the same time,_

_“Carry on.” Joan said._

_“I wanted to thank you for last time.”_

_“For what, turning up at yours out of the blue?”_

_They both laughed and Vera shook her head._

_“No, you just helped me a lot that night; you’re still helping me now.”_

_“I’m glad Vera; ever since I’ve been here I’ve seen a lot of potential in you, if only you could see it._ _”_

_Vera looked down at her hands, not knowing what to say when Joan reached over and placed her hand on top of Vera’s._

A knock on the door interrupted Vera’s thoughts, she sighed.

“Come in.”

"Smith for you Governor.” 


	3. It started with a drink

It was the end of her shift and Vera was sitting in her living room, a glass of wine in her hand. Since being interrupted earlier on in the day, she hadn't thought back to that night, honestly she had been rushed off her feet. If it wasn't Channing degrading her about one thing, it was the women causing some sort of trouble, in particular Kaz Proctor. 

Staring at the glass in her hand, Vera tried to forget about work but it was becoming impossible to do that. Not since Joan had been transferred there, Vera sighed, she put the glass down and closed her eyes. 

_"How about a drink?" Joan said, her hand still on top of Vera's._

_Vera nodded and Joan got up, her hand leaving Vera's, the warmth that was there whipped away within a second. Vera got up and followed Joan to the kitchen where she saw Joan rummaging around in a cupboard. In that moment, Vera took the time to look at Joan, she felt comfort like she had never felt before. No one had ever took the time out to ask how she was, who wanted to spend time with her, sure there was Fletch but with Joan it was different, it was completely different and it was a feeling Vera was beginning to love._

_Joan turned around and saw Vera staring at her, the look in her eyes made her feel weak inside. This was a feeling Joan didn't feel often but being around Vera made her feel this way. She watched as Vera blushed, the light tint of red covering her cheeks and Joan simply smiled, not wanting to make Vera uncomfortable._

_"I have wine, vodka, water?" Joan said._

_"Oh I urm...wine is fine, thank you." Vera replied._

_Joan poured the drinks and gave one to Vera, they went back to the living room and sat down._

_"Relax." Joan said, watching as Vera held the glass so tight._

_"Sorry." Vera muttered._

_"Do I make you nervous?" Joan asked and Vera's eyes widened slightly._

_"A little." Vera said, knowing what Joan would say next._

_Joan put her glass down and moved closer to Vera,_

_"Why?"_

_A simple word that made Vera's heart beat faster and faster, that was the question why? Vera knew but she was scared to say why, what if she ruined her friendship with Joan? Was it a risk she was willing to take?_

_"Tell me." Joan said, her tone so soft it made Vera think everything was going to be okay._

_"You make me feel things." Vera admitted quietly._

_"Things that I've never felt before and it scares me." She added._

_"Because I'm a woman?" Joan asked._

_"No...maybe, I don't know." Vera sighed._

_"No its not that, though I've never felt like this before with another women and that scares me some but its not that entirely."_

_Joan stayed silent, those words that Vera had just said, felt like this...felt like what? That's what Joan wanted to ask but she knew Vera was having difficulty telling her this and she didn't want to scare her._

_"I feel like I want you Joan."_

_It was said so quietly that Joan nearly missed what Vera had said but she was glad she didn't. She saw the worry etched on Vera's face and Joan put her hand on Vera's shoulder._

_"I want you too, Vera."_

Vera opened her eyes, feeling the tears rolling down her cheeks, she stood up and turned the light off, leaving the living room to go upstairs to bed. 

 


	4. Tell me

Ever since Vera woke up, she was dreading going into work. Knowing this was the day Joan would be going into general population, knowing she would have to speak to her, alone. 

If she could just persuade Joan to stay in protection then maybe things would be okay but Vera knew that would never happen, she knew that when Joan wanted to do something, that something she did.

There was also a hold that Joan had over Vera and it wasn't that Vera didn't know this, it was that she was trying her best to ignore it. Everything had come tumbling down when Joan ended up getting arrested, what nobody knew is how much it affected Vera, not even Joan. If only Vera had asked Joan if she was okay, been there more, just tried something, all of this might not have happened. These were thoughts that entered Vera's mind everyday yet the answers never came. 

Getting out of her car, Vera looked up at the outside of the prison...it was going to be a difficult day, Vera could tell. She slowly walked inside mentally preparing herself to face whatever was thrown at her. Before releasing Joan into general, Vera wanted to see her, she wanted to talk to her so she went down to the protection unit, pushing her nerves aside, forgetting about last night. Vera went through the doors with her head held high. 

Joan was waiting for her, standing there looking as proud as she ever did. Vera asked the officer to open the door and without a second thought Vera went inside. 

Silence engulfed the two women, Vera fiddling with her hands and Joan just standing there staring at Vera, it was almost as if she was daring Vera to talk first. The courage Vera worked so hard to get was rapidly disappearing, she cleared her throat and as Joan walked towards Vera, she backed away until she could feel the wall and Joan raised her eyebrow. 

"Do I make you nervous?" Joan asked and Vera whipped her head up and her face was full of hurt. 

"Don't." Vera whispered and Joan walked slightly forwards once more. 

"Tell me." Joan said, a sudden change to her voice, it was somewhat soft. Vera knew that tone, it was the same tone Joan had used in that exact conversation they had, had some time ago. The same conversation Vera was thinking of just last night. The problem was Vera couldn't tell if Joan was just messing with her...she didn't want to believe Joan would do this but she wasn't confident. 

"Vera, tell me." Joan was close now, Vera could feel her heart beating so fast, her palms clammy, she bit her lip and closed her eyes. After all this time, Joan still had this affect on her. 

"You always do." Vera spoke so softly, so quietly finally answering Joan's question. 

Joan stepped back and sat on the edge of the bed, she pointed at the metal chair in the small room and Vera sat down. 

"If you've come here hoping to change my mind. Its not going to work." Joan said, pushing aside that tense interaction moments before. 

"I know." Vera said thankful for the sudden change in conversation, she carried on.

"I know you and I know that when you want to do something...you do it." 

Joan smirked. 

"You do know me well Vera, very well." 

Vera shook her head. 

"Enough." Vera said her tone lacking in strength, she stood up, making her way to the door and Joan followed. 

"Wait!" Joan said, there was a pleading sound in her voice which made Vera stop and give in to Joan's orders. 

"You thought about it last night didn't you? You thought about us." Joan reached out as Vera was about the leave the room, she gently brushed her hand down Vera's arm and she knew Vera felt it. The door locked and Vera was now on the outside. For some reason Vera felt a sudden urge of bravery, maybe it was being this side of the glass. She pushed the button to talk to Joan.

"Yes I did, I did think about us." Vera said and she watched Joan as her words hit her. She turned her back, needing to get away from there before she did something she was likely to regret, she was walking away when she heard Joan's voice, 

"I did too." 

Vera has forgot to push the button once more to end the conversation but as she rounded the corner she heard the officer do just that. Now around the corner, Vera leaned against the wall, she felt exhausted. That had physically exhausted her and it wasn't even the afternoon yet. 

This was one of those rare moments where Vera wished she didn't have this job, she just wanted to hide away from everyone. Go home and lie in bed and stay there. Of course that couldn't happen though, the one place Vera could hide was her office and even then 9 times out of 10 she would get interrupted. 

It was there where Vera went though, she looked at the clock. In twenty minutes time, Joan would be put into general, she looked at the computer screen watching the women in the yard. What were they going to do? How were they going to react? 

One thing was for sure and whether it was wrong or right it wasn't going to change Vera's mind.

Vera was going to do everything she could to protect Joan. 

 


	5. Everything

Vera stood with three other officers as they were transferring Joan through the prison yard, Vera was hoping for no trouble but she knew deep down that of course there was going to be. It was Joan, ex governor of this place, Vera took a deep breath and took note of her surroundings. They got through the first gate and as soon as the women noticed her, they started shouting, hitting the fence, taunting Joan calling her a freak. It echoed around the yard. Vera told the women to be quiet, to back off.

Vera made sure that she was in front of Joan with the other officers behind and to the side of her, the women were closing in but Vera stood strong, she didn’t once look at Joan but she could feel her eyes on her every step she took. They eventually made it to where Joan was going to situated for the time being, until her trial and as Joan entered the cell, Vera went through the necessary information about when breakfast was, peer worker, showers and Joan turned around. 

“I know all of this Vera.” 

Vera nodded, she thought about leaving but stopped, the voices from the women shouting freak still fresh in her mind. 

“It’s not too late to go back to the protection unit.” 

Joan laughed, 

“Give in? Never. I taught you better than that didn’t I?” 

“What are you trying to prove?” Vera asked.

Joan simply smiled and placed her items down on the bed, Vera gave her one last look before leaving her.

"You look good!" Joan shouted out. 

Vera turned around confused. 

"In the uniform, you look good in the uniform." 

Soft lines formed around Vera’s eyes as she smiled, she took one last look at Joan and left her.

“Make sure you stay outside and don’t let her out of your sight, understood?” Vera said to an officer.

“Yes governor.” 

Vera went back to her office, she needed time to think this through, there was a few months before Joan’s hearing and of course Vera was going to do everything she could possibly do to protect Joan, what if everything wasn’t enough? What if something happened?

Leaning back into her chair, Vera let herself think back to that night again...

_“I want you too, Vera.”_

_Joan took both of Vera’s hands into her own, she brought them up to her mouth and gently kissed them. She heard the soft intake of Vera’s breath, she saw how Vera closed her eyes almost leaning into the kiss._

_“Tell me this is real?” Vera said her knee now touching Joan’s._

_“It’s real Vera, it’s always been real. This...us.”_

_Joan cupped Vera’s cheek, she brushed her thumb across Vera’s soft lips and she smiled when Vera ever so slightly kissed her thumb, it was so faint but it was there, she felt it. It was a tender and sweet moment though_ _Joan could still sense worry and she needed to find out exactly what it was Vera was worried about before this went any further._

_“What’s worrying you?” Joan asked softly._

_“I’ve never done this before...I’m not experienced especially with a woman. I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid I will disappoint you.” Vera said, her voice laced with concern._

_“Oh Vera, no you couldn’t. You could never disappoint me, we’re in this together, I will look after you, I promise.”_

_“Thank you.” Vera whispered._

_This was everything Vera needed to hear and the fact was, she trusted Joan and she wanted this. Vera had dared to only dream this happening and now that it was, she didn't want to let go. Vera leaned forwards and Joan met her halfway, they stared into each other’s eyes seeing nothing but warmth, trust and happiness. Vera brought her hand to Joan’s face and tucked a stray piece of hair back behind Joan’s ear, she placed her hand on Joan’s shoulder and they kissed for the first time._

_It was as if everything around them stopped, it was beautiful, breath-taking all of what they both thought it would be and more. The way they connected felt so right, Vera nibbled on Joan’s bottom lip and a small moan came from Joan. Vera immediately stopped, her eyes glassy, her breathing laboured, she touched Joan’s lip where she bit it._

_“I didn’t hurt you did I?”_

_“No, not at all, quite the opposite in fact. I never took you for a biter Vera.” Joan smirked as Vera turned crimson, oh how she enjoyed teasing her._

_“I’m playing.” Joan said chuckling._

_Vera grinned._

_“That was spectacular.” Joan said bringing her arm around Vera._

_“I’ve never experienced anything so deep and meaningful before, I’ve never, I mean...I just...”_

_“Shh it’s okay.”_

_Joan tightened her hold and Vera snuggled into Joan’s side, it was a perfect picture. Vera could feel tears forming, happy tears, she wanted to stay in Joan’s arms forever_.

Joan’s arms...Vera imagined being cuddled by Joan, the one thing she particularly loved was the feel of Joan’s arms around her. She sighed and tapped her finger on the desk, who was she kidding?

She missed everything about Joan, she missed those moments, the kisses, the touches, that night.

Everything. 


	6. What do you want from me?

"Come in." Vera said, hearing the knock on her office door. 

Bridget walked in, smiling at Vera who stood up. 

"I'm glad you're here, I've been wanting to see you, to apologise for my behaviour." Vera said. 

"There's no need, I understand that you're under a lot of pressure, I just thought I'd pop by and see how you're doing." 

Vera nodded and welcomed Bridget to sit down which she did, Vera sat opposite her. 

"As you know, Joan went into general earlier on." 

"Yes, I wanted to speak to you about that actually. Do you know what her motives are? No one in their right mind would want to go into general knowing how it would make the women feel." 

"I have no idea." Vera sighed. 

"I've spoken to her on two occasions, asking her to stay in protection but she doesn't listen, I suspect she's up to something. This is Joan we're talking about after all and I don't think we'll know exactly what she's up to until it happens." 

"I agree, I guess we'll just have to wait for now, I can set up another session with Joan but after the last one, I'm not sure how beneficial its going to be." 

"Set one up anyway." Vera said, if Bridget could be of any help to Joan it was worth it. 

Bridget nodded and noted down some things in her book and then she took a moment to look at Vera, she could see exhaustion all over the governors face, with a hint of hurt too. As a friend, Bridget was concerned and as a psychiatrist she wanted to see if she could help in anyway. The conversation shifted away from Joan. 

"Are you okay?" Bridget asked. 

"Me? Oh, yes well I mean I...yes I'm okay." Vera said slightly flustered for a moment, in that split second she wanted to spill out all of her thoughts, her feelings but was that going to help? No, Bridget would probably look at Vera like she was crazy. 

"You sure? I'm your friend Vera, if you ever need anyone to talk to." 

"Thank you, I'll keep that in mind but honestly I'm okay." Vera said with an unconvincing smile. 

Bridget decided to leave it for now, she knew that if she pushed too hard, Vera would only close up, she'd leave it but definitely keep an eye out. Vera said thank you once more before Bridget left and once again Vera was left on her own, she looked around her office, the pictures she had, had hung up on the wall. She turned and stared at the desk, picturing in her head the exact spot where Joan's black gloves used to perfectly sit. 

Vera looked at the clock, it had been a few hours since Joan was put in general and so far, so good Vera thought since no one had been to see her. Just then she had a call through her radio, spoke too soon Vera thought as she answered. 

Joan Ferguson had made a request to see her, it had been only a few hours since she saw her, what could Joan possibly want? That question was going to be answered pretty soon as Vera agreed to the request, normally the women wouldn't be able to see her this quick but Joan asking to see her, there was something behind this. 

Staring at the clock, watching the seconds tick by Vera waited and waited to hear a knock, knowing it was going to be Miss Miles or some other officer escorting Joan. This was a bit too intimate as well, the protection unit and the cell, well they were out in the open and not much could be said but in her office with only Joan, a lot could happen. Vera jumped when she heard the knock, with a shaky breath she stood up and walked over to her door and opened it. Joan stood there, her hair in a loose ponytail, silver strands sticking out. 

"Thank you Miss Miles, that will be all." 

"Governor." Miles said leaving the room. 

Vera went back to her side of the desk. 

"Thank you for seeing me on such short notice." 

"What do you want?" Vera said looking Joan in the eye.

"I simply want to talk, I thought we could talk here, we have more privacy don't you think?" 

"I've got nothing to say to you Ferguson." Vera said, now looking down at her desk.

"Oh but I think you have, why are you trying to fight this Vera? I know you still want me, I know you think about us. You've admitted that much already, why fight it?" 

"You're a prisoner now." Vera said, although it pained her to say it. 

"I won't be for much longer, you and I both know I'm innocent."

"I don't know what to think anymore." Vera spoke quietly. 

Joan could see Vera slowly unravelling and she took this as her moment to pick up the chair and move it closer to Vera, she noticed the blinds were already shut, was Vera expecting this, well at least something like this? Joan didn't know but she gently put her hand on Vera's knee, she felt Vera tense up a little but she then relaxed. 

"Talk to me, my dear." 

Vera looked up with tears in her eyes, it had been so long since Joan had called her that and she didn't think she would ever hear it again but now here they were, Joan sitting next to her, touching her and calling her 'my dear' 

Vera was in trouble, big trouble. 


	7. Coming undone

Joan patiently waited for Vera to speak, she knew this was hard for Vera, she could tell just by looking at her and Joan was going to be patient and nothing else. When it came to Vera, Joan knew she was different. That this younger woman had been the one that could break her if she wanted to, a feeling Joan had never come across before, not even with Jianna and just because there were some on going issues right now, her feelings for Vera had never changed. 

"I think about that night." Vera admitted. 

"I know you do." Joan replied tracing her thumb in circles on Vera's knee. 

"You were the first woman I was with intimately." 

"And I'm not anymore?" Joan said slightly jealous. 

"God no! Don't you understand? Its always been you and only you Joan!" Vera said, feeling herself getting worked up. 

"Tell me what you think about when you remember that night." Joan said. 

Vera shook her head. 

"I can't." 

Joan took Vera's hand into her own, she needed to feel this comfort as well as she suspected Vera did. 

"You can, please Vera." 

Vera looked mildly shocked, never had she heard please come from Joan, well there was that one time...that night but other than that never. Vera found herself agreeing, she always found herself agreeing when it came to Joan, she couldn't stop herself. Vera sat there, holding onto Joan's hand as she replayed that night.

_They stayed cuddled up to one another for a few more minutes before Vera lifted her head and stared at Joan. She couldn't help herself, she felt drawn to Joan, like magnets attracting each other. She had to taste her again, feel those soft lips upon her own, her body craving for it, Vera pulled Joan in for another kiss. When they parted Joan smirked._

_"My, my, someone's greedy."_

_Vera blushed and shyly looked away but Joan gently turned Vera's head back to her._

_"I like it Vera, in fact...I love it. Its taking all of my self control now to not touch you."_

_"The mighty governor Ferguson using all of her self control?" Vera said with disbelief._

_"Believe me my dear, you have no idea how much I want you."_

_Vera clenched her thighs, what was Joan doing to her? Whether it was Joan calling her dear or the words Joan spoke, it was both! Vera knew she was wet, her body screaming out for Joan's touch._

_"I want you too." Vera whispered after a few minutes._

_Joan stared into Vera's eyes._

_"Are you sure? Its okay if you're not, I understand if you want to wait, I don't want  to feel like you have to-"_

_"Joan." Vera chuckled and kissed Joan once more. "I'm more than sure, I'm ready, though I'm not experienced...I'm not exactly sure what to do." Vera said turning shy again._

_Joan stood up, holding her hand out to Vera who took it and they made their way to the bedroom, to Joan's imacculate bedroom. Vera took a moment to look around, she didn't expect anything else but this from Joan, she was almost afraid to touch anything._

_"Vera, come lie down." Joan patted the bed and Vera sat down at first then lay down, nerves kicking in._

_Joan slowly and gently straddled Vera, she saw the younger woman's eyes widen and her breath instantly increase in pace, a good feeling! Joan bent down and kissed Vera's neck, she slowly ran her tongue along it, just below Vera's earlobe, she stopped as she heard Vera moaning._

_"You like that?" Joan asked smiling aware of the sudden change in her body, her voice, everything._

_"Yyes! Oh...yes."_

_"Good, I want you to enjoy it, tell me what you love and what you don't love. You will do that won't you Vera? Don't be quiet, let go, make all the noise you want. I want to please you and I'm going to do just that."_

_Vera moaned in response and Joan chuckled._

_"Good girl."_

_Just as Joan was about to unbutton Vera's shirt, she stilled her hand and whispered into Vera's ear._

_"Promise me you'll tell me if you want to stop? At any point, you tell me okay?"_

_"I promise." Vera held Joan's waist and kissed her. "I promise."_

_That was all Vera needed to hear and she continued to unbutton Vera's shirt, she got to the last one and opened up the shirt and she was met with soft creamy skin, her eyes transfixed on the white lacy bra Vera was wearing._

_"You are truly exquisite my dear."_

_"Joan, please touch me...anywhere, I just need you." Arousal flooded through Vera's body, just watching Joan looking at her, that hungry look in her eyes nearly made her come._

_"Of course, all you had to do was ask." Joan said with a wicked grin._

_Joan helped fully discard of the shirt and it was chucked somewhere on the floor, her next move was to take Vera's trousers off, she wanted to see Vera naked. She wanted to see her beautiful body in full view before touching her and she knew how close Vera was. Trousers and pants now off, Joan gently lifted Vera up so she could undo Vera's bra and that too was thrown, Vera made no attempt to cover up her moan when Joan's warm hands touched her breasts. Skilled fingers played with Vera's nipples, squeezing them and massaging and when Joan flicked her tongue across Vera's perk nipple, she arched her back, holding onto the sheet._

_Joan kissed Vera, pushing her tongue into Vera's mouth, Joan's hand travelled down Vera's body, she stopped exactly where Vera needed her and Joan's fingers were instantly coated in wetness. Joan traced a finger around Vera's clit and Vera moaned, a long and loud moan, her chest rapidly rising and falling._

_"Ohhh Joan, Joan that feels so good, don't stop!"_

_"Never my beautiful Vera."_

_Gently, Joan pushed two fingers inside of Vera, making sure Vera was comfortable Joan started slowly thrusting her fingers in and out, keeping a steady rhythm. She could already feel Vera tensing, she watched as Vera lay there gripping onto the sheet, her other hand squeezing her breast, playing with herself, a sight Joan thought was incredibly arousing. Joan increased the speed of her fingers and she watched Vera's eyes close, her back slightly arching._

_"Fuck...oh fu-Joan! Ohhhh!"_

_Vera held on to Joan's side as she orgasmed, moaning Joan's name over and over, pleasure running through her body. She still held onto Joan as her breathing slowed down a little and she jerked a little when Joan gently removed her fingers, she moaned again when Joan brought her fingers up to her mouth and licked them clean._

_"You taste divine." Joan said, a playful glint in her eyes._

_"That was incredible." Vera said still catching her breath._

_"No my dear, you were incredible."_

_Joan captured Vera's lips in a deep kiss once more and Vera felt herself reacting immediately, tasting herself on Joan's lips. Eventually catching her breath, Vera swapped sides and she pushed Joan down on the bed and with a burst of courage she held Joan's hands above Joan's head._

_"I want to touch you, I want to give you as much pleasure as you gave me. I want you screaming my name."_

_"Yessss." Joan said._

Vera realised how hard she was gripping Joan's hand, she also realised the change of pattern in Joan's breathing. It was more laboured, indicating that she was just as affected as she was by what she had just said. 

"I think about how you made me feel, how beautiful it was, the way my body reacted and when I touched you. I dream about your body, hearing you moan my name." Vera said, with nothing but honesty. 

"I think about nothing else." Joan said. 

"No one has ever made me feel the way you did, I can't explain to you how incredible a feeling it was...there are not enough words." 

"But I can't do this Joan, don't you realise the position I'm in? I can't even look at you without wanting to...no, never mind, you need to go." 

"Vera." Joan spoke calmly.

"No, please just go!" 

Joan stood and walked towards the door, she wasn't trying to manipulate her, she wasn't playing a game, her heart was simply hurting at the sight of a broken Vera in front of her and it just slipped out. 

"Don't you realise that I love-"

Vera looked at Joan and anger flashed in her eyes, 

"Don't you dare finish that sentence! You think this is the right time to tell me that? I can't deal with anymore. Officer!" Vera shouted, wiping the tears that escaped down her cheeks. 

"Escort prisoner Ferguson back to her room please." 

"Yes governor." 

Joan never took her eyes off Vera as she left the room. 

 


	8. Drowning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments and kudos! 
> 
> This is my first time writing a Wentworth fic so I'm glad that so many of you are enjoying it. I've added some more characters into this chapter but it will of course overall be more focussed on Vera and Joan. 
> 
> Also I'm on Twitter if you want to know when updates are, talk about the fic or anything else Wentworth related. @ThisIsMe___21 
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Joan sat down on the bed, staring at the wall, that imbecile officer was still standing outside the door. Hopefully he would move soon enough so she could interact with Kaz and her girls. Joan knew the reason as to why she was put here, they didn't know who she was, they wasn't here when she was in charge and this was another thing to confirm that Vera still cared for Joan. 

"Vera." Joan whispered.

All that was running through Joan's mind right now was what just happened between her and Vera moments ago in the office. It had come as a minor shock to Joan when Vera snapped at her though a part of Joan felt proud. That once quiet and shy deputy was now gone and Joan thought about the times when she told Vera to have more fight in her and to not let others walk all over her. It seemed like it had finally worked. 

The words that Joan spoke just before she was escorted out, the words which made Vera shout at her. Well it was never Joan's intention to say those words, to let her defences down because that's exactly what she was doing but when it came to Vera, her feelings and emotions ran all over the place and it was a dangerous thing that she only hoped she could keep from Vera.

Joan sighed as she took the hairband out of her hair, she ran her fingers through her dark, silver locks and flexed her fingers. Oh how she missed her black leather gloves!

A part of Joan understood why Vera had made it clear that she had no right to even attempt to say what she was going to say, here of all places and with recent issues it wasn't the right time. Maybe if all of this didn't happen, maybe if she had said something earlier on, things would be different now.

Feeling anger rising, Joan was about to push all of her things off the side but stopped herself knowing the officer was standing out and it would do no good. Instead she lay down on the bed and this time stared up at the ceiling, she thought about Vera talking about the first time they made love, how it affected her and that she still thought of it. Of course when Vera was talking about it in the office, it had affected Joan, that was a time that Joan was never going to forget. The time she let another person touch her, how she gave Vera her trust...

Joan sighed and she sat up after hearing shouting coming from outside, it seemed the girls were back. Joan stood up, she was drowing in her thoughts and she needed to focus on something else. She walked towards the door where the officer was standing. 

"I'd like to sit out there, interact with the other girls." 

The officer stared over at Kaz and the others, he thought about it for a moment before agreeing. Joan left her room with a slight smile on her face and all eyes were on her as she sat down opposite Kaz. 

"I'm sure you've all heard the rumours about me by now, they are all lies." Joan said cooly. 

"Right so they call you the freak for nothing." Allie said, her arm around Kaz. 

Kaz cut Allie a stern look. 

"I understand, we don't know you so we'll give you the benefit of the doubt...for now." Kaz said leaning forwards. 

"Thank you." 

Allie watched on with her arms crossed, she watched as Kaz and Joan started talking looking like they were already going to be close friends. She huffed and went to her cell. Sometime later Kaz stood by Allie's door. 

"What are you doing?" Allie said. 

"Something's up, come on tell me what?" Kaz said sitting down on the bed. 

"The game you're playing with...her." 

"Its not a game, you know she hates Bea as much as us, we need her." Kaz said.

"She used to be the governor!" Allie said with disgust. 

"Exactly, she know things, important things." 

"You can't trust her." Allie said seriously.

"We'll see about that but trust me, only good will come out of this and as for Bea well she better watch out..." Kaz smiled and patted Allie on the leg before leaving. Allie sat there as worry flooded through her, what was Kaz thinking? What was she planning? What about Bea....Allie didn't know what to do. 

Outside it was nearing lock up, Kaz and Joan were back talking again and Joan laughed at something Kaz said. Joan stopped talking and she turned to the side, she saw Vera standing there looking pretty much pissed off. 

"What is prisoner Ferguson doing outside her cell?!" Vera said stalking over to the officer. 

"I...um...ah she wanted to sit with the others." 

Vera sighed and turned around, 

"Everyone inside now! Lock up!" 

"Pff, make us!" One of the women shouted and everyone laughed. 

Vera watched Joan whisper something in Kaz's ear and she grinned at her and told her girls to go to bed which they eventually did. Kaz sauntered to her room and winked at Vera before going inside. Vera dismissed the officer and it was her and Joan left, she stood by Joan's room and pointed. 

"Inside now!" 

"Yes governor." Joan said whispering in Vera's ear as she walked past. 

Vera took a deep breath and looked down at the ground, she closed her eyes for a moment then looked up again, eyes open. 

"What were you doing just then with Proctor?" 

Joan raised her eyebrow, this was not what she thought Vera would say, she smirked because now this confirmed Vera was jealous and oh it was a wonderful feeling. 

"Nothing." Joan replied. 

"You were laugh-" Vera stopped herself from carrying on and making a mistake, what was she doing? She could feel the jealously coarsing through her body, she needed to get out of here. 

"Jealously doesn't suit you Vera." 

Vera shook her head and left without saying a word, she left Joan wondering about what just happened and this was definitely something Joan could use. In fact she found it somewhat endearing how easily Vera became jealous. Yes Joan could definitely use this. 

Joan lay down on her bed, one hand behind her head and she smiled. 


	9. Reminiscing

"Jealously doesn't suit you." Vera muttered as she stomped into her office, she slammed the door and sat down with her head in her hands. 

"Fuck..." 

She hit her hand on the desk and sighed. 

"Fuck her." 

Vera leaned back in her chair, embarrassment flowing through her body at how easily she let her feelings show. Why did her mind and body betray her when she was around Joan? Why did this have to happen? Vera was used to bad things happening to her, all her life she had been made fun out of, let down by those she let close but when Joan came into the picture it was different. Joan took interest in her, wanted to spend with her and they made love. 

Vera groaned, she was sat here not that long ago reminiscing about that night to Joan. That shouldn't have happened, she shouldn't have let Joan persuade her into sitting there and telling her, let alone hold her hand. The problem was is that it was all Vera could think about, it was as if it was etched into her mind, her heart. The first woman she had been intimate with and Vera knew there wouldn't be another and oh what was Joan thinking? That word Vera had longed to hear someone say to her, love. Joan was about to say it and if Vera wasn't hurt enough by everything that had happened, that would have ended it. It was as if it was some sort of game that Joan was playing and this time Vera did not want to play.

She thought back to the times when things were easier, when she was deputy and when they were friends and growing closer. 

Looking up at the clock, Vera smiled slightly when she saw that it was the end of shift. Finally she could get out of here, go home and attempt to relax with a nice bottle of wine. She laughed to herself whilst she got ready to go, relaxing wasn't going to happen, that was for sure. 

It didn't take Vera long to get home and when she got inside she chucked her keys on the side and went straight to the cupboard where she kept wine. She took the bottle out and grabbed a glass. Placing them on the side, she took her hair out of the bun and shook her hair, she picked the bottle and glass up and went upstairs to run a bath. Vera found herself sitting on the edge of her bed just listening to the sound of running water, it seemed like hours had past when Vera stood up to check the bath. She took her uniform off and discarded it in a neat pile and got into the warm bath. 

Vera closed her eyes, almost wanting to succumb to the water sound her, she could feel her mind going back and as much as she tried to stop herself she couldn't. 

_After hearing Joan moaning yes, it spurred Vera on even more, it boosted her confidence and after feeling the pleasure that Joan gave her, she wanted to give it back._

_Now on top of Joan, Vera felt herself freeze for a moment, all those thoughts and dreams of things she wanted to do to Joan and now here she was and she couldn't help but feel nervous. What if she couldn't satisfy Joan? Joan picked up on Vera's nerves._

_"Vera, its okay, you don't have to, not if you don't want to."_

_"I do, I really do. I'm afraid I won't be able to...please you."_

_Joan smiled and she took Vera's hand into her own and she guided it down her body and past the waistband of her trousers. Vera felt how wet Joan was and her heart started beating fasted and faster._

_"My dear, look at what you've already done."_

_Vera smiled, a shy smile at first but when she moved her fingers and watched as Joan's eyes filled with what could only be seen as pure ecstasy she found her confidence. She massaged Joan's clit ever so gently and it was almost as if Joan was purring._

Vera opened her eyes, her breath heavy and she found herself with her hand between her legs, aching. Her other hand cupped her breast and she took her nipple between her fingers, squeezing it. She brushed her clit and she moaned quietly, she knew she was wet though the water didn't make it obvious. She couldn't wait any longer as she pushed two fingers inside herself, opening her legs wider she gripped onto the side. She increased the pace of her fingers and she could feel herself becoming closer and closer, with one last thrust she orgasmed whispering Joan's name. 


	10. Watching

  
It was the next morning and Vera found herself at work reasonably earlier than when she normally arrived. Throughout the night she couldn't help but have this bad feeling, so she wanted to arrive early to make sure everything was okay in the prison last night. She just got out of her car and turned around and bumped into Bridget who held her hand out to steady Vera. 

"You okay?" Bridget asked.

"Yes, thank you." Vera said and Bridget nodded. 

"Well I'm glad I've caught you." Bridget said laughing and Vera smiled. 

"I'm going to set up a session with Ferguson today and I assume you want to watch it?" 

"Um yes, that would be for the best." 

"Right, okay well we'll say in about 2 hours time after breakfast then." 

Vera nodded and they both walked into the prison, before Bridget turned to go the opposite way she stopped. 

"Have a good day Vera." 

"Oh, yes well I...you too!" Vera said, a bit taken back by Bridget's friendly words. It had been such a long time since someone had even said kind words to her, the last person being Joan. Vera rounded the corner, on her way to her office when she saw Will and Linda laughing about something, as Vera got closer she heard the word freak and she stopped. 

"What's this you're talking about?" Vera said strongly. 

"The woman were up all night, shouting and screaming. It seems putting Ferguson into general has riled them up." Linda said. 

"What were they shouting?" 

"Freak, we're gonna get you...that sort of thing." Linda said slightly smirking. 

"Miss Miles! Do you think this is funny?" Vera said losing her temper.   
Linda kept quiet and Will stood there looking at the two of them, Vera stood her ground and Will nudged Linda. 

"Sorry governor." Linda muttered. 

Vera shook her head and walked off, it wasn't just the inmates who hated Joan it was the officers too and maybe they had good reason but it was beside the point. They had to be professional and the women threatening Joan...there was no way Vera would allow Joan to interact with Kaz and the others again, not that she knew the first time but especially now they couldn't be trusted. Vera got to her office and she shut the door and felt restless, she started pacing back and forth thinking about the session Bridget was going to have with Joan. That bad feeling she had last night, what if it was to do with the session. Vera glanced at the clock, she had to keep her mind busy until it was time, do some paperwork, make some calls, observe the women, anything! 

Joan stared at the officer who was firmly stood by the room, 

"Not moving I see, I would have thought after yesterday, you would see that I am perfectly safe here." 

"Governors orders." The officer said and Joan laughed. 

"Yes, you wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of _governor_ Bennett, trust me." Joan said smirking and the officer looked at her with a confused face. 

"Joan, getting comfortable I see?" Bridget said making her way over, she looked Joan up and down and raised her eyebrow as she was met with one of Joan's famous smiles. 

"To what do I owe this pleasure? No, let me assume you're here to spout off your ridiculous advice and to try and help me. Its a wonder that you are even qualified, let alone working back here." 

Bridget bit the inside of her mouth, this was going to be a long session, thats if they actually managed to sit through it all. The officer escorted both her and Joan to where the session was going to take place and once inside, Joan scanned the room and she found the camera and slowly smiled. 

"Take a seat." Bridget said sitting down herself.   
Joan sat down, perfect posture and stared at Bridget. 

"How have you found the past few days?" Bridget asked, pen and paper in hand and Joan sighed leaning back against the chair. 

"We both know this is a waste of time, scribble down what you desire, its not going to change anything." 

"What about last night? I hear the women were up most of the night, it couldn't have been nice to hear." 

"Well once they know I'm innocent, none of that will matter." 

"And that's what you are then Joan, innocent?" 

"Mm yes though I can't say the same about you." Joan said leaning forwards and Bridget paused not looking forward to where this was going. 

"Tell me, did you fuck Franky in this room or was it somewhere else?" 

Bridget's eyes flashed with anger as she stood up. 

"It would be a shame for let's say her parols officer to find out she's living with you, she would be sent back here but you will send her my regards won't you." 

Bridget remained silent for a minute or two then she slowly stood up. 

"You know you really are a freak" Bridget spat leaving the room to Joan laughing. 

The door shut with a bang and Joan looked up at the camera, smiling knowing exactly who was watching from the other end.

 


	11. What are you playing at?

Vera sat back in her chair and sighed deeply, that session hadn't gone as planned but then deep down Vera knew something like this was going to happen. There was no way Joan would agree to the weekly sessions and it didnt help that Joan disliked Bridget. What Vera didn't expect is Bridget to lose her temper so easily, especially after Joan mentioned Franky, a conversation she knew she would have to have with Bridget. Vera turned away from the screen when her door burst open and Bridget walked in. 

"I can't believe I let her get to me like that!" Bridget said frustrated. 

"Come in." Vera muttered though it was unheard by Bridget. 

"She played me Vera, she fucking played me and I gave it her." 

Vera stood up and walked around her desk, 

"Just calm down!" Vera said to Bridget, a stern look on her face. 

Bridget sat down, her arms crossed for a few minutes until she finally calmed down, she looked up at Vera who was raising her eyebrow. 

"Do we need to discuss Doyle?" Vera said calmly. 

"There's...nothing to say." 

Vera could see straight through Bridget, this wasn't surprising though she always did have a feeling that her and Franky were more than what they both let on. What hurt more is that Vera gave Bridget ample opportunity to tell her everything, she had even reinstated Bridget and now this. 

"Please don't treat me like an idiot." Vera said. 

"Nothing happened Vera, not in here anyway." 

"Oh I don't believe....do you think that's okay?" 

Bridget didn't say anything. 

"I asked you before I gave you your job back, if there was anything I needed to know, you were to tell me and you said there was nothing." 

"I know Vera and I'm sorry, I-" 

"No! You've put me in a really uncomfortable position now, what do you expect me to do? I'm the governor now and when something like this happens, I cannot ignore it." 

"Vera, none of this is as bad as you're making out. Franky, yes she lives with me now..." 

"Fantastic." Vera said sarcastically.

"But that doesn't matter, she's finding a job, she's seeing her parole officer." 

"That's just it Bridget, what to you thinks going to happen if the parole officer finds out? If Joan knows which she does, do you think she's just going to leave this? You need to tell Doyle to leave, for her sake." 

"I, uh...yeah." Bridget said looking down at the floor. 

"You should have known better, what were you thinking? And another thing, verbally abusing an inmate." 

Bridget looked up at Vera, completely confused. 

"You really are a freak...Bridget, I understand that Joan is difficult but you cannot lose control like that, I can't overlook this, I will have to ask you to leave. Suspension for one week pending investigation, if Joan - Ferguson, if she decides to press this matter further, I will let you know." 

"Vera, look I fucked up okay, let me make it right? I'll apologise to Ferguson, I'll tell Franky to go." 

"I'll see you in a weeks time." Vera said, she waited for Bridget to stand up and she watched as she walked out of her office with a broken look on her face. Vera stood there, her eyes closed for a moment. Just earlier she was thinking about her growing friendship with Bridget and now look, she just had to suspend her.

Vera had to talk to Joan. 

Instead of calling Joan to the office, Vera decided it was safer if she went to the block Joan was at, she really didn't want a repeat of what happened in her office.

Vera's heels echoed as she walked down the hall, she passed a few of the inmates and checked they were doing what they were meant to be doing and she got to where Joan was and saw her sitting with Kaz. 

"Prisoner Ferguson." 

Joan looked to Vera. 

"We need to talk." 

Kaz stood with Joan but Joan shook her head and Kaz sat back down. Joan followed Vera into Joan's cell. 

"I do love being alone with you Vera." Joan said. 

"Stop! You know exactly why I'm here." 

Joan wore a bored expression. 

"I assume we are longer lucky enough to be presented with the _experienced_ Ms Westfall?" 

"You knew what would happen." Vera said annoyed. 

"I only told the truth, surely you can see that." 

"That's beside the point, I've had to suspend her for a week, just what game are you playing?" Vera said squaring up to Joan. 

"I always did like it more when you fought back." 

Vera pointed her finger at Joan. 

"You...just stop!" 

Joan stayed quiet and she watched Vera lean against the wall, Joan walked a little bit closer to Vera. 

"Not easy being on top, is it?" 

Vera opened her eyes and smiled. 

"I always admired the way you ran this prison." 

Joan smirked and nodded her head. 

"I know you did, you made an exceptional deputy. You were always there, always trying wanting to do your best and I knew you would make an exceptional governor but you don't have to try so hard now Vera. The women are not here to like you, why do you crave attention, likeness?" 

"I've never had that before not since...." 

"Me." Joan finished. 

"Yes, you. It turned out that was just another disappointment, look what's happened to us, look what's happened to you, I'm trying to be a good governor, maybe you're right I am trying to hard." 

"Vera, nothing has happened to us. We are still the same, you still want this? Ill be out soon enough. I'm innocent." Joan said bringing her hand up to cup Vera's cheek and Vera brought her hand up to rest on Joan's. 

"We can't, you just accused Bridget of exactly what you were just trying to do then. What are you playing at?" Vera said stepping away. 

"We can't." Vera whispered once more before leaving.


	12. Planning for revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and kudos. 
> 
> Also sorry for the delay in this chapter, I now have a laptop so expect more updates soon! 
> 
> Flashback in italic. 
> 
> Hope you like it!

“Thank god.” Vera muttered looking at the time, it seemed it was becoming an everyday occurrence wanting to get out of the prison and that was never a good thing. Vera opened the door and left the building, walking over to her car. She got inside and sat there for a few minutes, tapping her finger on the steering wheel and she sighed. The conversation she had with Bridget earlier on came back to her and well she was feeling rather guilty for practically exploding all of her anger out on her, she saw red and Bridget was the first person to be near her at the time.

Vera wanted to go and see Bridget, she wanted to make sure she was okay, starting the car Vera drove off in the direction of Bridget’s home. Parking just by the side of the road, Vera got out of her car and made her way to the front door, she hesitated for a moment and was about to turn away but instead she knocked and waited patiently for an answer. The door opened and Bridget stood there looking mildly shocked.

“Vera, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yes well, I’ve come to uh –“

“If you’ve come to have another go, please don’t I’m not in the mood.”

“If you’ll just hang on a minute Ms Westfall, I’ve actually come round to apologise for my earlier actions.”

“Oh.” Bridget said quietly.

“Yes and although the suspension cannot be lifted, I wanted to come over to see if you were okay.”

“Come in.” Bridget said, opening to door wider and she moved over to the left so Vera could step inside.

Vera followed Bridget to the living room and as she walked in she smelt something nice, obviously Bridget was cooking something.

“Its lasagne, do you want some?”

“Oh, well….I um, yes, yes okay, thank you.” Vera said flustered by the nice gesture.

Bridget went to the kitchen area whilst Vera sat down and waited, when Bridget came back she was holding two glasses of wine and she gave one to Vera.

“No Doyle then?” Vera said after taking a sip and Bridget sighed.

“If you’re trying to get information-“

“I’m not, I’m just simply asking you about her.

“We had a fight earlier on, she’s gone back to her bedsit and I told her it was best to stay there whilst all of this was going on with Ferguson.”

Vera nodded.

“I am sorry for my outburst.” Vera said putting the glass down on the table.

“Its fine Vera, I understand that I crossed the line, I should never have lost control like that.”

“It’s Joan though, she just has a way of getting underneath your skin. No matter who you are, she will do it.”

Bridget quirked her eyebrow and leaned forwards,

“Did something happen between you and Ferguson? Did she do something to you?”

As Vera was trying to formulate an answer, the oven pinged and Bridget stood up, Vera following her. Bridget served the lasagne and they sat at the table, it was quiet at first, Vera was lost in her thoughts. She wanted to tell Bridget everything, she wanted to sit there and blurt out what happened between her and Joan and how it was affecting her now, she needed to talk about it to someone, anyone other than Joan but the problem was and could she trust Bridget? Sure they were getting along better and dare Vera say it, they were friends but still, this was something Vera couldn’t just tell anybody especially knowing Bridget’s hate towards Joan.

“You okay there Vera?” Bridget asked.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you were okay, you’ve been staring at the plate now for about five minutes.”

“Oh sorry! Lost in my thoughts.” Vera said with a nervous laugh.

Pushing her plate to one side, Bridget rested her arms on the table and looked over Vera concerned.

“I’m worried about you Vera, as a friend, something is bothering you and I just want you to know, I’m here if you need to talk. Not as a shrink, as a friend.”

Vera smiled slightly.

“Thank you for the offer but I’ll be fine, I admit I’ve been a bit off lately. I’ve just been stressed with everything going on and not knowing what Joan is up to, I just wish none of this had happened.”

“You mean Ferguson-“

Vera cut a look to Bridget which Bridget found very interesting, she spoke again.

“You mean Joan being put inside Wentworth?”

Vera nodded.

“Anyway, can we change the subject? I wanted to get away from work tonight.” Vera said nervously and Bridget agreed, knowing that a change of the subject was needed.

“More wine?” Bridget offered and Vera said yes.

A little while later, they were sat in the living room and a few glasses of wine later it was safe to say both women were feeling the effects of the alcohol. Vera was slouched on the sofa and Bridget was on the other side. They were both pretty quiet, caught up in their thoughts when Vera sat up.

“How did you do it?”

“Do what?” Bridget asked.

“How did you cope working at the prison and having feelings for Franky knowing you couldn’t?”

Bridget remained quiet for a moment, she was intrigued as to why Vera was asking this question.

“I don’t want you using this against me.” Bridget said quietly and Vera shook her head.

“I won’t, you have my word, I just…need to know.”

“It was hard, it really was. I didn’t come into the prison to fall for one of the inmates and everyday it got harder, knowing that I couldn’t touch her when I wanted to, be near her, share a bed with her.” Bridget sighed.

“It’s not easy Vera but we got through it and we never did anything when I was working at the prison but then she got parole and honestly it was the happiest I’d been in a long time. Patience Vera, that’s what you need and self-control.”

Vera scoffed.

“I have none of that.” She muttered and Bridget heard but decided not to comment instead she leaned over and patted Vera’s hand.

“You’ll be okay.”

Vera looked up and saw Bridget smiling at her and she smiled back and she yawned suddenly, making Bridget chuckle.

“It is getting late.”

“Yes, I should get going.” Vera said standing up.

“No you don’t, you’ve had far too much wine to drive back to yours. I have a spare room, you can stay here for the night.” Bridget offered.

“Oh, I couldn’t, that’s kind of you but I don’t want to impose.”

“You’re not.” Bridget stated.

Vera stayed in the end and after being shown where the spare room was, she settled in bed thinking about what Bridget had said about it being hard but to have patience and self-control. These feelings she had for Joan were not going away anytime soon, no matter how hard she tried to push them away and if patience and self-control was what she needed, she was going to give it her best shot at having them.

_Vera woke up with Joan’s arm around her waist, she looked down at Joan’s fingers and smiled. Knowing that it took a lot of courage and trust in Joan to be able to have her hands bare, without those black leather gloves. She weaved her fingers with Joan’s and sighed contently, she brought Joan’s hand up to her mouth and kissed the hand gently and she felt Joan stir beside her. She turned around and was faced with Joan who was now awake, though she still had tired eyes, Vera saw her smiling._

_“Morning.” Joan said, her voice husky._

_“Good morning.” Vera said smiling._

_Joan smiled and tightened her hold around Vera, bringing her closer to snuggle into her side. Vera chuckled._

_“The almighty Joan is a snuggler, who knew.” Vera teased._

_“You will tell no one.” Joan said in her most stern tone._

_“Yes Guv’nor.” Vera replied and Joan smirked._

_“You are a wonder, do you know that Vera?”_

_Vera blushed under Joan’s gaze and Joan laughed softly._

_“You have to learn to take a compliment my dear.”_

_“I’ll try.” Vera said._

_“Good.”_

_After spending a few more minutes in bed, they decided to get up and get dressed then have some breakfast. In the kitchen, both women were silent though they had a new found comfort between each other that the silence wasn’t an issue._

_“Ready for another hard day’s work?” Joan said breaking the silence._

_“Ready as I’ll ever be.”_

_They got into their cars and made their way to the prison, parking next to each other Vera waited for Joan._

_“What happens now?” Vera asked suddenly timid._

_“We have to remain professional when here but Vera, understand that I want to do this again, very much so.”_

_“Yes…me too.” Vera said breathing a sigh of relief._

_They smiled and entered the building._

Vera woke up suddenly, she rubbed her eyes and gazed over at the clock it read 5:50.

“Ugh.” Vera said laying back down.

The dream had woke her up, though it wasn’t a fantasy dream. What she dreamt had actually happened, the day after they made love. How easy and simply and comforting it had all been and what she’d give to be back at that point. Sighing, Vera closed her eyes willing herself to go back to sleep but all she could see was Joan’s face smiling at her. Pushing the covers off her, she got up a little too quickly and felt the room spinning or maybe that was the wine from last night. Feeling a bit better, Vera opened the door as quiet as she could and made her way downstairs to the kitchen, she found the glasses and picked one up and poured herself a glass of water.

Vera lost track of time, which was obvious when Bridget came downstairs.

“You’re up early.” Bridget said.

“Yes, early riser.” Vera said smiling though the smile was fake.

Both women got ready, Bridget had an appointment and when it was time to leave, they walked outside and Vera stopped for a second feeling dizzy again, she held onto the wall.

“Are you okay?” Bridget asked concerned.

“Just a bit dizzy.”

“Right well it’s not safe for you to drive so I’ll drive you to work.”

“That’s not necessary.” Vera said weakly.

“Come on, in.” Bridget said helping Vera to the car.

“Not used to drinking so much?” Bridget said starting up the car.

“It would seem so.” Vera said closing her eyes and smiling.

They arrived at the prison on time and before leaving the car, Vera said thank you to Bridget for bringing her to work and for letting her stop the night.

“Anytime, I mean that.” Bridget said and they smiled.

“My car…”

“No worries, I’ll pick you up later on.”

“Right, well…yes, okay thank you.” Vera said leaving the car, she saw Linda staring at her and smirking.

“Late night was it?” Linda said.

“Not now Miss Miles.” Vera said, feeling a headache forming.

Linda watched Vera as she walked inside and she shrugged her shoulders, she was used to Vera’s moods lately, this was a piece of gossip though and she needed to share it with someone. Linda hurried inside and signed herself in, making her way to the lockers. There was a brief meeting where Vera addressed current issues and then they were ready for the day, Linda followed Will out of the room.

“Got some juicy goss, wanna hear?” Linda said to Will who shrugged.

“I saw our very own governor coming out of Ms Westfalls car this morning, they looked cosy too.”

Will looked mildly surprised but then shook his head.

“I’m sure it was nothing.”

“It didn’t look like nothing.” Linda said raising her eyebrow.

“Well, don’t go spreading it okay? Vera’s got enough on her plate as it is.”

Linda promised and she strutted off smiling to herself, what they didn’t know is that a certain person had overheard them. Joan stood still on the spot, anger seeping through her body. Vera with that useless woman, what did she do? Why was she in her car? She flexed her hands and went back to her cell to think about what she had just heard. She needed to discuss this with Vera, she needed to get that Westfall character out of here for good.

Joan sat back as she thought about a plan.


	13. Aching

“Joan, come sit here. We need to discuss what we’re going to do with Bea.” Kaz said and Joan went and sat down.

Kaz started talking and at first Joan was paying attention, but as soon as she heard the echo of heels she knew exactly who was going to be walking past. Joan stood up and walked over to the gate and Kaz called after her but Joan ignored her. She stepped out just in time to stop Vera who jumped slightly.

“What do you want Ferguson?” Vera said composing herself.

“Oh it’s Ferguson, I see well since you’ve been spending so much time with that useless Westfall woman, getting ‘cosy’ I heard. I shouldn’t expect anything else.”

“What? Spending so much time and getting cosy…I have no idea what you’re on about.”

“Don’t lie to me _Vera._ ”

“I’m not lying and anyway I don’t have to answer to you! Now please, move out of my way.”

Joan raised her eyebrow and she slowly moved out of Vera’s way not before saying,

“She’s no good for you.”

“What and you are?” Vera said walking away.

Joan stood there feeling her anger starting to rise, surely Vera wouldn’t be so stupid as to go with Bridget but then Vera…she was so innocent and always wanted to feel loved and wanted. Joan knew this because she had given it to her and she had watched the way Vera’s face would light up, it was something that was shared only with the two of them and she really didn’t want Bridget to come into the equation.

“Joan?!” Kaz shouted. “What was that about?”

“It was nothing, now what was that you were saying about getting Bea’s followers on our side?” Joan said walking back over to the seats. Kaz followed her looking unconvinced at that conversation being nothing, she would have to keep an eye on Joan.

It was around lunchtime and Joan went with Kaz and the others to get some food and when they got there, they saw Bea staring at them along with her protector, Maxine. As Joan walked past she smirked at Bea, noticing Doreen in the queue.

“Doreen, how are you doing? How’s little Joshua?” Joan asked smiling.

Doreen looked over to Bea and then Joan, she smiled slightly.

“He’s doing well, I miss him so much though.”

“Of course you do but it won’t be long now till you’re with him again.” Joan said sympathetically and Doreen smiled.

Kaz was standing behind Joan watching the interaction between the two of them and she smirked, this was good having Joan talking to Doreen. Doreen was a weaker one of Bea’s group and Kaz suspected it wouldn’t take long to get Doreen on side.

Joan sat down at the table next to Allie and Kaz, she turned her hide to the side and was met by Bea also looking at her.

“Got a problem Ferguson?” Bea said leaning back in her chair.

Joan shrugged and shook her head.

“No problem here.” Joan said in a dark tone.

There was no more conversations at lunch, only smiles shared between Joan and Doreen, when they got up to go back to their block, Kaz pulled Joan to one side.

“You’re working on Doreen aren’t you?”

“She’ll be with us soon enough.” Joan replied staying behind when Kaz started to walk back.

“You not coming?”

“No, I need to have a word with governor about taking a shower.”

“Okay, well if you need anything and I mean that anything at all, you let me know.” Kaz said and Joan nodded.

“Thank you Kaz.” Joan said placing a hand on Kaz’s shoulder.

Joan went to find an officer, not before bumping into Lucy and her ‘boys’ as they were called.

“There’s no space for you here freak!” Lucy spat and Joan just smiled.

“What you’ve got nothing to say? They should’ve locked you up on your own crazy bitch.” Lucy added, she moved closer to Joan her gang following her.

“Move along!” Vera’s voice shouted from behind them, Joan looked over and saw Vera standing there and Lucy smirked.

“We’ll get you next time.” She whispered walking past Joan, nudging her shoulder as they walked past.

Vera stood with her arms folded.

“Looks like I just saved you there.” She said her eyes on Joan.

“Those people are simply idiotic, they wouldn’t have done nothing.”

“And here I thought you would say thank you.” Vera scoffed.

“I suppose you are seeing that blonde whore again tonight?” Joan asked plainly.

“One more remark like that and I’ll have you slotted.”

“Is that the best you can come up with?” Joan laughed.

“Don’t push me.” Vera said, her voice shaking slightly.

Joan moved so she was inches away from Vera,

“I don’t know what you see in her, you do know she fucked Franky Doyle? In fact they are still together.”

“Enough! Miss Miles, Mr Jackson!” Vera shouted and the two officers hurried over.

“Slot her.” Vera said looking at the ground, she heard no reply from Joan and she didn’t want to look up so she turned away and sighed deeply. Why was everything so hard with her? Vera took a fast walk back to her office and shut the door. She looked at the monitor…she couldn’t well she could but she shouldn’t. She sat down and looked at the screen, she clicked on full screen and watched her, she watched Joan.

The comments that Joan had said kept going through Vera’s mind, firstly how did Joan find out she went to Bridget’s? Secondly, there really was no need for Joan to even say those things not unless she was…

“Jealous.” Vera whispered.

Vera lifted her hand to the screen and faintly moved her fingers across Joan’s figure, as she did that Joan looked up at camera and smirked. Vera jumped back and she knew she was shaking, she was losing self-control again but knowing Joan was jealous…it was a good feeling, a feeling that she was still wanted by Joan nonetheless. The talk Vera had with Bridget last night had helped some when she arrived to work this morning but after this happening, it just seemed like she was taking a step backwards. Her hands ached to feel Joan’s skin again, her body ached the comfort Joan gave and her heart was aching simply for Joan. Vera continued to sit there and watch Joan, she was currently sat on the bed but then she started to pace and Vera only wondering what was going through Joan’s mind right about now.

Joan paced the perimeter of the small cell, she was cursing herself for getting put in there, cursing her stupid jealously feelings. Surely Vera would figure out that she was jealous and the thing was, why should Joan even feel jealous of Bridget, there was no competition but whilst she was stuck in here and not where she could be around Vera, everyone was seen as competition. Joan stopped pacing and she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, breathing in and out slowly. She was completely oblivious to what was around her, she was oblivious to the sound of the door opening, just in her own little world and that was until she opened her eyes and saw Vera standing there.

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Self-control

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon.” Joan said looking Vera up and down, when Vera didn’t say anything Joan carried on.

“Why are you here? I suppose you were watching me wasn’t you. Did you enjoy it? Watching me through a camera, knowing that you’re now the one in control.”

Vera told the officer to leave her to it and she made sure there was nobody around and she shut the door. She took a slow walk over to Joan and when she was stood in front of her, she looked up and sighed.

“Teal really isn’t your colour you know.” Vera said picking some fluff off the jumper Joan was wearing, she started to softly rub Joan’s arm and Joan looked shocked for a minute. Vera had changed dramatically and although Joan knew this was an unspeakable act, of course she knew that from when she was with Jianna but the way Vera was touching her arm, she felt her self-control dissolving with every touch.

“You told me we couldn’t do this.” Joan said, her voice wavering slightly and Vera smirked.

“I’ve changed my mind, you think I can come to work every day and see you in here, teasing me, taunting me, I need you Joan. I want you so much…it’s killing me.” Vera said her voice thick with emotion.

“You and I both know this is wrong.” Joan replied, she wanted this so much but she knew Vera would most likely regret it and feel guilty afterwards and Joan didn’t want that to happen.

“I don’t care, please give in Joan, give in to my touch.”

Joan moaned but it was muffled by her hand covering her mouth, damn her self-control and damn her feelings. Vera started to run her hands down Joan’s side, stopping at her waist and she pulled Joan towards her.

“I always did love how we fit together.” Vera said and Joan chuckled.

“Yes, it is odd considering how small you are.”

Vera swatted Joan’s arm and smiled, putting her arms around Joan’s waist and holding her close. Joan kissed the top of Vera’s head and then she had a sudden thought as she looked up at the camera.

“You’re recording this aren’t you?” Joan asked and Vera blushed furiously.

“Maybe…” Vera whispered.

“Well then, let’s make it good.” Joan said almost purring and Vera grinned.

Vera hesitated to see if Joan would make the first move but Joan shook her head,

“You wanted to be in charge, you’re in control.” Joan bit back a smile as she watched Vera’s eyes fill with desire.

Vera pushed Joan against the wall and she lifted up slightly so she could kiss Joan, when they parted both women sighed, a joyful sigh.

“I’ve missed that.” Vera said.

“Me too.” Joan said kissing Vera again.

Having Joan currently up against the wall and having permission to be the one in control was making Vera so nervous but excited at the same time. So many thoughts ran through her head of what she could do to pleasure Joan and this was one of her fantasies. Vera knelt down and Joan felt her heart beating faster, especially when Vera put her hands on those teal joggers and pulled them down.

“I can smell you from here.” Vera purred. “Oh how I’ve missed you.”

Vera pulled down Joan’s panties and she kissed the inside of Joan’s thigh, knowing how much that affected Joan.

“Spread your legs a little wider.” Vera said and Joan obeyed the command.

Ever so gently, Vera swiped her tongue over Joan’s clit, her touch so faint that she knew it would be teasing Joan. She could feel how wet Joan was already and it heightened Vera’s arousal, her hands gripped Joan’s legs and she teased Joan with her tongue hitting all the right places. Joan’s hand went to find anything to grip on to and the only thing near her was Vera’s hair, her beautiful soft hair that was up in a tidy bun. Joan didn’t care about the bun right now, she pushed her hand into Vera’s hair and held on as she felt Vera’s tongue moving against her and her legs nearly went when she felt Vera’s fingers teasing her entrance.

“Don’t hold back.” Vera said and she pushed two fingers inside of Joan and Joan let out a deep moan.

“Harder.” Joan said, her voice breathy.

Vera smirked, Joan always ended up back in control or giving out commands but it didn’t bother Vera, all she wanted to do was please Joan and so she pushed harder and faster and she could feel Joan’s hand that was gripping her hair get tighter and although it was painful, it was also arousing.

Vera knew Joan was close and she removed her fingers and Joan growled.

“On the bed.” Vera said and with heavy legs, Joan lay down on the bed and Vera straddled her.

“You know how many times I’ve fantasized about this? How many times I’ve touched myself, thinking about you and your body.”

Joan shook her head and bit her lip, stopping the moan from coming out.

“All the goddamn time, I can’t get you out of my head, damn it Joan I want you so badly.”

“Then for god sakes Vera, take me!”         

Vera thrusted two fingers into Joan and she increased her pace, her pressure and she kissed Joan’s neck, gently biting it in places. She felt Joan tense up and she knew Joan was close now, she knew she was when they were up against the wall but she wanted to make this moment last. Who knew when they were going to get another chance?

Joan’s orgasm was music to Vera’s ear, it was beautiful, a sound Vera wanted to hear time and time again. She removed her fingers and licked them clean, Joan looking at her, wanting her.

“Thank you.” Joan whispered and Vera lay down next to her, nuzzling into her side.

“I um…I –“

“I know Vera, I know.” Joan said holding her closer.

“I didn’t expect to see you so soon.” Joan said looking Vera up and down, when Vera didn’t say anything Joan carried on.

“Why are you here? I suppose you were watching me wasn’t you. Did you enjoy it? Watching me through a camera, knowing that you’re now the one in control.”

Vera still didn’t say anything and Joan clicked her fingers.

“Vera?”

Suddenly Vera snapped out of it and she looked around at the surroundings and at Joan standing against the wall, she looked confused and then she realised.

She had just imagined making love to Joan, it was so vivid and it felt so real but it was all her imagination. Vera turned and rushed out of the room.

“I imagined that?” Vera whispered to herself, her hand covering her mouth.

 


	15. Fear

Joan sat on the edge of the bed, she didn’t quite know what to make of Vera’s unexpected visit and that was bothering her. She had turned up so soon and then stood there before practically running off. Joan lay down and looked up at ceiling, her eyes following the lines of cracks as she thought about all the times she had put the inmates in the slot when she was in charge.

Eventually Joan fell asleep, this was one of the only times when she didn’t have any control of herself, where she let her inner most fears and feelings come to the surface. Joan tossed and turned in her sleep, she started to mutter words, names…Vera’s name.

“Governor? I thought you had finished an hour ago?” Will Jackson said, walking up to Vera.

“Uh, yes well there was something I needed to do.”

“Anything you need help with?” Will asked.

“No thank you, I’m just going to grab my things and be off.”

“Have a good night then.” Will said smiling, watching Vera walk off.

Vera went to her office to pick up her things but she couldn’t stop herself from looking at the monitor, her body and mind urging her not to but her heart came first. She gazed at the screen and watched as Joan slept only she looked concerned when she saw how distressed Joan was. Was she having a nightmare? Worry overtook Vera and she was torn about what to do, after what happened the last time she went there, not that long ago she really didn’t want a repeat of that but then if Joan really was having a nightmare, Vera wanted to be there for her.

Vera continued to watch to see if Joan would calm down and little and as time went she did and Vera made the decision to leave Joan and go home. With one last look at the monitor, Vera picked her belongings up and left the office.

Joan shot up from the bed, her breathing was laboured and a sheen of sweat coated her forehead, she looked around to familiarise herself with her surroundings, she felt out of place after that nightmare she had, had. She sat up, the blanket still around and she leaned against the wall and thought about what had just happened. It was clear that she had a nightmare, she hadn’t had one for so long not since she found Vera and it hurt to know the nightmares were back, it hurt that this one felt so real. The nightmare was about Vera, of course it was because Vera was fresh on Joan’s mind and the words that Vera spoke in the nightmare, echoed in Joan’s head. _“You’re a freak, you’re going to be inside for the rest of your life.”_

Joan closed her eyes, trying to get her breathing back to a normal pace, it was just a dream she kept repeating to herself. It wasn’t real. _“Bridget was right, you really are a psychopath.”_ Joan got off the bed and paced the room, her mind was reeling and she needed to get out of here. She thought about the words her father told her over and over again, that emotions lead to weakness and she huffed. Joan knew it was early, not early enough for Vera to be in the office yet and she suspected if she tried to get the attention of an officer, they would just ignore her so she waited and waited. Pacing the cell, sitting on the bed, leaning against the wall, anything she could do to get her mind off the nightmare she had.

Hours later, Joan could hear the sounds of other inmates around the prison, she heard an unlocking of a door and she only hoped it was Vera unlocking this door but the longer she hoped, she realised that this wasn’t the case.

Vera arrived at work reasonably earlier considering she didn’t get enough sleep as she was too busy thinking about Joan and the supposed nightmare it looked like she was having. A little bit of regret crept its way into Vera’s mind, maybe she should have checked on Joan, she was after all Governor and one of the most important parts was looking after the welfare of the women. Vera walked into her office and skimmed through the papers on her desk, she then remembered the phone call from last night. It had taken some thinking, mostly because of the accusation Joan had thrown at her but Vera had phoned Bridget and since she apologised, she told Bridget that a week’s suspension was probably too much and that she was allowed back into work today but to see her first thing in the morning.

There was a knock on Vera’s door and she called out for them to enter, it was Bridget and she came in smiling.

“Thank you for reinstating me.”

“It’s okay, I realise I was probably a bit irrational and as long as nothing like this happens again, we’ll be okay.”

“Absolutely, you have my word.”

“Good.” Vera said sitting down.

“How is Ferguson?” Bridget asked hesitantly.

“In the slot at the moment, she um…well she accused myself and you of having um…” Vera felt flushed and Bridget raised her eyebrow.

“Of being together?” Bridget asked.

“Yes, that was the gist of it.”

“Well that’s crazy, where would she get an idea like that from?”

“It seemed she overheard someone talking about us and how you took me to work, anyway I put her in the slot and it will all blow over soon.”

“Ah it doesn’t bother me Vera, it’s just hearsay and I’m more interested in why this has affected Ferguson like this. Is she jealous? And if she is, why is she jealous?”

“Because we had something.” Vera said sighing and her eyes widened at her confession, she looked at Bridget and shook her head.

“I didn’t mean that, I…I forget I said that.” Vera said flustered, her words coming out in stutters and Bridget only looked semi shocked, more shocked that Vera had actually admitted it.

“Vera, listen its okay, I’m not going to tell anyone, I mean look at me and Franky.” Bridget said laughing and Vera huffed.

“Right, not helping.” Bridget added.

“If it makes you feel any better, I had a feeling something like this, well just something had happened between the two of you and before you ask, no I don’t think anybody else has noticed or would even notice. I never said anything because I didn’t want to push you.”

"I don't know what to say, I never wanted to say anything, christ why did I have to?" Vera said leaning back and sighing, tears threatening to fall. 

"Come here." Bridget said holding her arms out and Vera stood and made her way over and Bridget hugged her, only then did the tears fall and the delicate shake of Vera's shoulders confirmed that she was crying.

"It's going to be okay Vera." Bridget said. 

"I don't see how, it's one big mess and god knows, one big game!" Vera said shouting.

"Do you really think that it's a game?" 

"Yes...no, I don't know!" 

"Are you going to visit her today? She's had a night in the slot, do you think she deserves another?" 

Vera thought about when she was gazing at the screen watching Joan sleep, only to go through what looked like a nightmare and no, she didn't think Joan deserved another night there. In fact, her heart was screaming for her to go and see Joan, to see if she was okay. 

"I need to see her." Vera muttered. 

"Okay but are you sure you're ready for it? Your emotions seem pretty high right now." Bridget asked. 

"Yes, I'm sure!" 

Just as Vera opened the door, an officer was stood outside.

"Governor, sorry to interrupt but you're needed down in H block, there's been a suspected overdose." 

"Great." Vera sighed. 

She looked at Bridget then to the officer...Joan would have to wait. 

 


	16. Misunderstood

“How did this happen? I thought we had an understanding about drugs in this prison!” Vera shouted as Bea leaned back in the chair opposite her.

 “Look it’s not just down to me, I’ll find out what happened and sort it alright.”

 “Right well that will be all then, I expect an improvement.” Vera said watching Bea leave the room ready to be escorted back to her block. Vera sighed as the door shut and she rubbed her head, this was all she needed, she was already failing at being governor. An inmate overdosing, she was just waiting for a call from Channing, she had to get on top of this and sooner rather than later. A search of the cells would be in order and Vera went to inform the officers that they would need to conduct the searches.

 After watching the officers get to work, Vera made time to go and see Joan, she had left it too long now and she only hoped Joan was okay. She would have to tell Joan that Bridget was back, it wasn’t something that Vera necessarily should tell her but something inside of Vera wanted to tell Joan and she wanted to make Joan see that there was nothing going on between her and Bridget. Vera took a deep breath as she stood outside of the door, she looked inside and saw Joan lay down on the bed. Vera asked the officer to open the door and she walked inside, she expected Joan to say some witty remark, anything really but she didn’t. Joan just lay there, silent and Vera couldn’t help but worry.

 Hesitating slightly, Vera walked towards the bed and sat down at the end just by Joan’s feet. She hovered her hand above Joan’s leg, she wanted to comfort her. Vera knew she shouldn’t and she knew that this was giving in but Joan looked so hurt and so broken.

 Vera placed her hand on Joan’s leg, she waited for any acknowledgement but again got nothing and she gently stroked Joan’s leg.

 “Joan.” Vera said softly.

 It was then when Vera leaned over slightly that she saw the glistening trail marks of tears down Joan’s face.

 “What’s the matter?” Vera whispered.

 “I’m a freak.” Joan muttered. “A freak.”

 “What?” Vera said shaking her head.

 “You’re not, where’s this come from? Joan look at me please.”

 Joan turned on her side and Vera sighed, Joan was always stubborn but it wouldn’t stop Vera, she stood up and knelt down in front of Joan’s face. She brushed a stray piece of hair from Joan’s face.

 “You called me a freak.” Joan whispered and Vera’s hand stilled.

 “I’ve never called you that.” Vera said looking confused for a moment but then she thought back to when she was watching the monitor and it looking like Joan was having a nightmare. Did Joan dream about Vera calling her a freak?  What else happened in the nightmare? Who else was in there and why was Joan believing it was real? Vera needed Joan to be in a more responsive state, she really didn’t want any of the other officers or the women for that matter to find out Joan wasn’t okay.

 “Can you sit up?” Vera asked and slowly Joan sat up and Vera sat next to her.

 “It was a nightmare, that’s all it was. I never said that about you and I’ve never thought that. You’re not in that nightmare anymore, you’re here with me. Look at me.” Vera urged and Joan stared at her.

 “You’re here.” Vera repeated and Joan smiled slightly.

 “I’m here.” Joan whispered.

 “I’m going to take you back to your block okay? But I need to know that you’re going to be okay, I can’t take you back if you’re not. You know the women and what they’re like.”

 “I’m okay.” Joan said taking Vera’s hand in her own.

 Vera nodded, she wasn’t all that convinced but she didn’t want to push Joan, if she said she was okay then Vera had to believe that she was.

 “Come on.” Vera said, standing up and walking towards the door.

 As Vera was about to open the door, she felt Joan’s hand on her arm pulling her back and Vera turned around and looked up, inches away from Joan’s mouth. Vera’s heart started beating a little faster, she could feel Joan’s hot breath and as she looked into Joan’s eyes and saw something she hadn’t seen in a while, desire. This couldn’t happen, Vera tried to back away but Joan’s grip kept her standing there, Joan could do anything she wanted right now and Vera wouldn’t stop her, couldn’t stop her and they both knew that. Completely under Joan's spell, Vera gazed at Joan waiting. 

"Thank you." Joan said softly. 

There was so much truth and sincerity in Joan's words that it made Vera feel emotional inside, Joan could have done anything then and Vera would have let her but all Joan did was simply say thank you and that meant a lot to Vera, more than Joan could ever imagine. Vera nodded and she held Joan's hand, she squeezed Joan's hand and let go before they walked out of the room. 

They never spoke to one another as Vera took Joan back to her block, back to the other women and as they walked, Vera could hear the mutters and eyes of the women as they stared at Joan. She moved closer to Joan as they walked, 

"Ignore them." Vera whispered and Joan looked at her and smiled, making sure nobody was watching. 

"So the freak is back!" Lucy Gambaro's voice echoed as she was leaning against the wall. 

"Pity I hoped they would have forgot about you and left you down there." She added and laughed. 

"Move along Gambaro!" Vera said sternly. 

Vera made sure they walked past at a fast pace, she didn't want Joan to be around that, not right now and eventually they got to Joan's block and Kaz was sat down with the girls around her and she looked up and smiled. 

"About time, we've missed you!" Kaz said standing up and making her way over to Joan, she glared at Vera. 

"Putting an innocent woman in the slot, an overdose happening, call yourself a governor!" Kaz said with disgust.

Joan tilted her head questioning Vera, this overdose was news to Joan, she saw the panic flash through Vera's eyes.

"Another word from you Proctor and you'll be slotted, understood?" Vera said her voice wavering and Kaz just laughed. 

"Yeah, yeah."

Vera looked at both women and although she wanted to be alone with Joan for a couple of minutes, she knew that couldn't happen so without saying a word she turned and walked away and she came face to face with Bridget.

"Ah Vera, I was looking for you, been to see Ferguson yet?"

Vera looked panicked, she tried pushing Bridget back a little bit but Bridget didn't move, the hairs on her neck stood up and she knew why. Seeing Joan so distressed, she had completely forgotten to tell her that Bridget was back and what a time for Bridget to show up.

"Ms Westfall." Joan's voice rang out from behind Vera and Vera's shoulders slumped as she turned around and was met by Joan's piercing glare.  

 

 


	17. Time off

“My office, now!” Vera whispered harshly at Bridget who didn’t miss that menacing glare Joan was giving her.

Vera looked around at Joan and gave her a look which was seen as sorry, Joan just looked the other way and Vera sighed, it was going well but it had just been ruined within a matter of seconds.

Vera went to her office with Bridget following her close by, she hadn’t said one word to Bridget since telling her to go to her office. They got inside and Vera shut the door.

“Fuck.” Vera muttered.

“I take it, you hadn’t told Ferguson about me being back here?” Bridget said, her hands in her trouser pockets.

“No, I didn’t have time, I went to release her to tell her you were back and when I got there she just looked so…broken.”

“Joan Ferguson, broken?” Bridget questioned.

“Yes, I’ve never seen her that way before well not since she mentioned Jian-well someone.” Vera said quickly stopping herself from saying anything she didn’t want to.

“You’re sure this isn’t some sort of game she’s playing? I don’t mean to keep doubting her or you for that matter but she could easily be playing the victim here, this is Joan after all.” Bridget said and Vera shook her head.

“You don’t know her like I know her, she’s not playing any games, what I saw was real, I know it was.”

“For your sake I hope it is, do you want me to talk to her?”

“I don’t think that’s going to work, right now she’s probably seething over you being back here, I should go and see her.” Vera said.

“Wait, you can’t keep going to see her Vera. You don’t want people to talk then you’re going to have to stop paying so much attention to her.”

“Then what do you expect me to do?! Stop caring about her? Because I’ve tried that and I can’t do it!”

“Leave it for today, carry on with the rest of the day as normal or even take the rest of the day off. You need a break from this, I’m sure they can survive without you for the rest of the day.”

Vera glared at Bridget.

“You think that they can survive without me, so I’m not a good governor?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Bridget said. “You’re taking this out on the wrong person and Vera, I’m not going to stand here and take it again.”

Bridget turned and left Vera’s office, she didn’t even bother shutting the door and Vera sighed, she picked up the phone, maybe Bridget was right in taking the rest of the day off. She really did need a break from here.

Vera managed to get the rest of the day off, explaining that she really was feeling under the weather and didn’t feel like she could give her all for the remainder of the day. She hadn’t spoken to Bridget since their earlier conversation in her office and honestly, she was fed up with having to apologise to her but she knew it was her own fault. Vera knew how worked up she was, she knew how defensive she was over herself and Joan and maybe she was too defensive. Vera got home and opened the door, straight away taking her shoes off and kicking them to one side, she went and sat down in the kitchen and stretched her feet. She looked around her empty house and felt a sense of loneliness, it was a feeling she felt from time to time, she had never been one to have a lot of friends around her, her closest one overall being Joan. Maybe it was better just being alone, Vera thought to herself.

She made herself a drink and decided to sit out in the back garden, she sat down and listened to the noises around her, the birds chirping, the sounds of people laughing and she smiled, a sad smile. Her phone started ringing and she got up and quickly made her way inside and picked her phone up off the side, she looked at the number and it was withheld.

“Hello?” Vera said.

“We need to talk.”

Joan’s voice echoed through the phone and Vera took the phone from her ear for a second but then brought it back.

“I um…what are you doing ringing me? How did you even, I mean I guess you remembered it but why are you-“

“You’re flustered dear.” Joan said and Vera took a deep breath.

“We haven’t got much time.” Joan added and Vera nodded, even though Joan couldn’t see her.

“I’m sorry.” Vera said sitting down.

“Hm yes well, I wasn’t aware that I’d be seeing that useless women again so soon, tell me did it just slip your mind or were you not going to tell me?”

“I was going to tell you!” Vera said defensively.

“That is irrelevant now, what’s done is done.”

“Then why call me?” Vera asked, her hands shaking slightly.

Joan was silent on the other end of the line and Vera repeated herself and all she could hear was the steady breathing coming from Joan.

“Joan? Why did you ring me?”

“Because I needed to hear your voice.”

A long beep was all Vera could hear now and she looked at the phone, Joan had gone, she pressed end on the call and walked back out into the garden. She sat there and couldn’t stop a smile from forming, Joan had missed her voice and Joan needed to hear from her. The question Vera wanted to know the answer to was how did Joan even know she finished work early? But that didn’t matter so much at the moment, what mattered is what Joan had just said. After trying so hard to put distance between herself and Joan, all Vera wanted to do was the opposite, she could feel herself craving to be nearer to Joan. It wasn’t the most sensible feeling to have but right now, Vera didn’t care about sensible feelings.

She knew what she had to do, well what she wanted to do and starting from tomorrow she was going to do it. Vera was going to contact Joan’s lawyer, she was going to speak to Joan.

She was going to help Joan get released from prison.


	18. I want to

"Joan, come over here for a minute." Kaz called out, pointing to the chair next to her.

Joan slowly looked up and made her way over, a drink in one hand she sat down and turned to Kaz. 

"What's this plan for Bea then? We need to make sure she's not running the place around here." Kaz said quietly. 

"We need to drive a wedge between Smith and the others, make them realise that her 'ideas' and 'rules' aren't all they're cracked up to be." Joan said calmly watching Kaz nod. 

"I'm sure I could manage to get Doreen on side, that's a start don't you think?" Joan said standing up. 

"How are you going to do that?" Kaz asked, her hand resting on her knee. 

"Just you leave that to me." Joan said walking out of the unit, leaving Kaz sitting there with a smirk on her face. 

Allie came out of her room and sat down next to Kaz, resting her head on Kaz's shoulder. 

"What was that about?" Allie asked and Kaz shrugged. 

"Nothing, maybe something, I'm gonna go check it out. You stay here with the girls I'll be back later." Allie watched Kaz run off after Joan and she sighed but then a smile crept up on her face, she could use this time to go and see Bea. Allie hopped up off the chair and looked around, there was no one around and she casually made her way to Bea's unit. 

Joan was on her way to find Doreen, ever since she told the girl the real truth about who saved baby Joshua she could see Doreen becoming friendly toward her. The little smiles she would give her was more than an indication and Joan wanted to become closer to Doreen, she wanted to give Doreen that option of joining them. Joan walked past the shower block then turned back round, she opened the door and checked inside, no one inside so she went to walk out but felt a heavy force push her inside. 

"Your little governors not here to save you now freak!" Lucy spat, her 'boys' right behind her. 

Joan found herself pushed up against the wall and she was staring back at these horrible women, she closed her eyes and welcomed any punishment they deemed necessary. If it was out of their system then maybe they would just leave her alone. Joan felt the first blow to her stomach and she bent slightly, feeling the pain shoot through her body. The next hit was to her cheek and she fell to the floor, listening to the echo's of laughter. 

"What the fucks going on in here?!" A voice shouted out. 

Joan held her stomach and looked up, she saw Kaz standing there, her face raging. 

"Get the fuck outta here now!" 

Lucy smirked.   
"You and what army?" 

"You really want to test that? I got a bunch of girls just waiting to have a go at you." Kaz said, strongly. 

Lucy looked to her 'boys' and scoffed, 

"Fine let's go, next time we'll finish you off, ya hear me freak and you, you're just a freak lover." 

They walked out shouting freak lover and laughing and Kaz rushed to Joan's side, she put her arm around Joan and lifted her up so she was standing. 

"We need to get you out of here." Kaz said and Joan just nodded, the blow to her stomach and face just made her feel weak. Kaz opened the door and bumped into Allie who looked back and forth between Kaz and Joan with her mouth open. 

"Give me a hand." Kaz said and Allie immediately put her arm around Joan, as they tried to help her back to their unit. They were nearly there, just needed to go around the corner. 

"Proctor, Novak, what are you doing?" The governors voice called out and Kaz stopped and muttered. 

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me." 

Vera walked over and she put her hand to her mouth when she saw Joan's face, she saw the bruise that had already formed, she saw the broken look in Joan's eyes. She could see the pain and she wanted to reach out to Joan but she couldn't. 

"Who did this?" Vera demanded and the three women stayed quiet and Vera sighed. 

"I'm taking you to medical." Vera said, holding Joan's arm. 

"That's really not ah...necessary." Joan said and Vera shook her head and glanced at Kaz and Allie. 

"You two back to your unit, now!"

Vera put her arm around Joan's waist to support her as they made their way to medical, she kept a close eye on Joan, on her facial expressions to make sure she wasn't into much pain. 

"I was hoping that this would happen in different circumstances." Joan said and Vera looked confused. 

"Your arm around my waist." Joan whispered and Vera chuckled softly. 

They got to medical and Vera got the nurse to look at Joan straight away, when the nurse lifted the teal jumped Joan was wearing up, they saw the purple, nasty looking bruises on Joan stomach and Vera gasped. The nurse touched it and it made Joan wince. 

"Was that necessary?" Joan said unimpressed and the nurse apologised. 

"I just need to grab some things, I'll be right back!" The nurse said and Joan shook her head. 

"Really Vera, that's the best this place can come up with?" Joan said referring to the nurse and Vera ignored the question instead she went to Joan's side. She moved her hand so that it covered Joan's and Joan looked down with a soft smile. 

"How's the pain?" Vera asked her eyes focused on their hands. 

"Its manageble." Joan replied and Vera ever so gently, stroked her thumb across Joan's hand. 

"Tell me who did this please." Vera urged and Joan shook her head. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't see who it was, they got me from behind." 

Vera sighed and nodded, she squeezed Joan's had lightly and the door opened, Bridget was standing there. Her eyes darted from Joan back to Vera and that's when Vera let go of Joan's hand. 

"Can I have a word?" Bridget asked and Vera said yes. 

"I'll be right outside." Vera said to Joan. 

When they were stood outside Bridget glanced at Vera. 

"What was that I just saw in there?" 

"What was what?" Vera said playing dumb. 

"You're getting too close Vera, I wanted you about this. I know you care about her." Bridget said looking in at Joan. "But you cannot let it affect your job, what if it had been someone else who had walked in and saw you two like that, holding hands." 

Vera blushed and looked down to the ground. 

"Look at her...look at what someone did to her, you're telling me no to care for the person I...well the person I just care about!" Vera said trying to keep her voice only to a whisper. 

Bridget sighed. 

"Look I can only advise you and I'll continue to do so, just be careful." 

"Is that all?" Vera said sarcastically and Bridget nodded although she didn't look happy. Vera turned and went back into the room Joan was in and Bridget watched the two of them smile at one another, she stood there just watching them and hoping for Vera's sake that Joan was not going to use her. 

 


	19. Get away

Vera hurried off to find Proctor, she had just said goodbye to Joan knowing that she couldn’t stay there for the entire day and plus she had to investigate just what had happened. She made her way over to the unit, a stern look on her face and when she got there she stood with her arms folded.

“Proctor, a word.” Vera called out glaring at Proctor.

“What is it now?” Kaz said sighing and making her way over.

“I want to know what happened to Ferguson and I want to know who did it, I’m not stupid, I know you know who did so just tell me!” Vera demanded and Kaz shook her head and smirked.

“I didn’t see anything.” She leaned into Vera. “Is that all governor?”

Vera looked around the unit and saw the women staring back at her and Kaz, she could feel anger and frustration start to build up.

“No that’s not it, my office now.”

The women behind Kaz started making ‘Ooo’ noises and Kaz turned to them and raised her eyebrow and laughed, she then followed Vera until they got to her office and Vera entered the door and shut it when Kaz was inside.

“I’m going to ask you this one last time, who attacked Ferguson?” Vera leaned against her table, her hands in her pocket as she stared at Kaz who looked disinterested.

“I don’t know.” Kaz said simply.

“Besides, I saved Joan so you should be thanking me not having ago at me”

“Watch it Proctor.” Vera warned.

“Why’d you care so much anyway, I thought she was hated by everyone around here.” Kaz asked and Vera felt like she was going to lose it.

“I don’t hate her!...I mean I uh, no not everyone hates her and it’s my duty to look after her and yourself for that matter, all of the prisoners. I cannot have this happening on my watch, I won’t allow it.”

Kaz looked at Vera curiously, that sudden outburst was interesting, she stood there not really paying attention to Vera but instead thinking about what she just said and then Kaz thought about previous moments when Vera had approached Joan and her eyes widened. Vera stood up and sighed in frustration, it was clear Kaz wasn’t going to talk anytime soon and she knew no one else would, she could punish all of the women hoping that the culprit would come forward but that risked a major riot happening, Vera had to think about this.

“Go back to your unit Proctor.” Vera said and Kaz looked at her and smirked and it made Vera nervous.

When Kaz opened the door, an officer was nearby to escort her back and the door shut leaving Vera alone and that’s when her mind caught up with her. She ran back what she said to Kaz and that little outburst of not hating Joan was going through her head, she shouldn’t have said it…not at all but the damage was done now and all Vera hoped is that whatever Kaz was thinking she wouldn’t tell anyone.

Back in medical, Joan was sitting on the bed she still had throbbing pains in the side of her face and stomach but she pushed it aside, she let her mind think about something else to ignore the pain and she thought about Vera and the conversation she had, had with Bridget outside the room. Joan could see Bridget warning Vera, she didn’t need to be in the same room to know that and it made her despise the woman even more. The nurse came over to Joan and asked if she was okay and Joan looked up,

“I’m fine and I’m going back to my unit now.”

Joan stood and grimaced at the pain but she wanted to get out of here, she needed to be anywhere but here and she opened the door leaving the nurse standing there not knowing what to do. Joan held her arm to her stomach lightly as she walked and she stopped to lean against the wall for support and catch her breath.

“Joan?” Kaz said rushing to her side.

“Help me back please.” Joan said and Kaz nodded.

“They said you’re okay to come back?”

“I didn’t give them a choice, anyway that nurse was giving me a migraine.”

Kaz laughed and helped Joan all the way back to their unit, she sat Joan down and asked if she wanted anything and Joan said no. Kaz went and sat down next to her and Allie appeared and sat down next to Kaz, she glanced over at Joan.

“Yes, I’m okay.” Joan said catching Allie staring and Allie looked the other way.

“Hey, I wanna talk to you about something.” Kaz said tapping Joan’s leg, Joan stared at Kaz’s hand and recoiled slightly. Kaz turned to Allie and put her arm around her bringing her in for a hug.

“Go make me a drink please?” She asked and Allie nodded, leaving Kaz and Joan alone.

Kaz looked at Joan’s room and pointed over.

“Maybe it’s better if we talk in there?”

Joan shrugged and got up with Kaz’s help and they walked over to her room, when they were inside Kaz shut the door slightly and Joan sat on the bed.

“I got called into the governor’s officer earlier.” Kaz said and Joan looked at her.

“I don’t know how to say this but it seems our little governor has a small crush on you.” Kaz said laughing. “I thought I’d tell you, hey maybe we can use this to our advantage?” Kaz looked excited at the idea and Joan shut it down within seconds.

“What gave you the impression that, that useless woman feels anything towards me?” Joan asked, her heart thumping inside of her chest.

Kaz leaned against the wall and started to explain to Joan what happened in the office and she recalled the other moments when Vera was around her. Outside of the cell, Allie had finished making a drink and she had turned around only to watch Kaz walk away with Joan, she sighed and put the mug on the side and slouched down on the small sofa. Ever since Joan arrived, Kaz had been paying more and more attention to her and it was annoying Allie. Looking up, Allie saw Governor Bennett making her way over, she scanned the room then glanced at Allie who pointed to Joan’s cell and Vera nodded. Making her way towards the nearly shut door, Vera stopped when she heard voices.

“That woman is a useless, incompetent governor and she never was much use when she was deputy either.” Joan said and Kaz laughed.

“Looks like you can push her over in one go.”

“Ha, yes she’s always been weak.” Joan closed her eyes, saying these words, words that were in no way true was hurting her but she had to keep up her appearance for Kaz.

“She’s got the hots for you, for sure.” Kaz said and Joan chuckled.

“A screw lover, me? Never, I’m with you and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Joan said and Kaz walked towards Joan and placed her hand on Joan’s shoulder and smiled.

“You are, now get some rest, we’ll talk later.”

Vera rushed off wiping the tears that fell down her cheeks and Kaz left the room and sat down next to Allie.

"Everything okay?" Allie asked. 

"It is now." Kaz said smiling.


	20. Misheard

Vera managed to escape to her office without anybody seeing her, this was becoming a regular occurrence, running and hiding in her office. She was only glad she had an office to run to, after closing the door she went and sat down and put her head in her hands and let the tears fall freely.

The words Bridget had said, that maybe Joan was playing a game was going through her mind, she was right it was a game. It was just a plan devised by Proctor and Joan, to make the Governor weak. Vera shook her head and wiped the tears away, she had given so much to Joan already, so much and to have it thrown back in her face was devastating. Why was it everyone that ever looked Vera’s way, destroyed her?

Vera glanced up at the clock and sighed, it was nowhere near time for her shift to end and she only hoped that with any luck today would be quiet and she could hide in her office for the rest of the day.

“Joan, so the girls and I are planning something in the yard, you coming with us yeah?” Kaz said putting her arm around Joan.

“What is this you’re planning?”

“Oh you know, we want conjugal visits, thought we’d do a protest for the little Governor and the rest of the screws.” Kaz grinned. “It’s gonna be off the hook!”

Joan looked down at the floor for a minute, this was going to put a lot of strain on Vera and she felt sorry for her but what was she meant to do? She looked up with that devious smile and nodded her head.

“Let’s go.”

Kaz cheered and went to gather the girls together, they got ready and all left for the yard. When they were out there, Joan caught sight of Doreen, Boomer and Maxine sitting down, she turned to Kaz.

“Give me a minute, I think I can get some of those on board.”

Kaz cast her eyes over on the four women and raised her eyebrow then smiled as she watched Joan walk over and sit down next to Doreen. Boomer turned her head and scoffed.

“Fuck off.” Boomer said and Maxine laughed.

Joan ignored them both and continued to sit there and Boomer turned to Maxine and said let’s move which they did, they asked Doreen but she said she wanted to stay there. Boomer gave her a look of disgust. There was a few minutes of silence with Doreen looking everywhere but at Joan.

“I understand you want conjugal visits, all this time without seeing that _man_ of yours must be hard.”

Doreen nodded, “Yeah, I miss Nash like crazy and little Joshua.”

“Yes, yes, well the girls over there.” Joan pointed to Kaz and the girls and Doreen followed her hand.

“They’re engaging in a protest in a matter of minutes to get conjugal visits here and we could use an extra member, after all the more girls we get, the more this plan is going to work, what do you say Dor?” Joan smiled warmly and Doreen’s eyes lit up.

“You really think it’ll work?”

“Oh I would say so.”

Kaz looked over and nodded at Joan.

“You coming?” Joan said standing up and Doreen hesitated but eventually stood up and Kaz still looking over, shook her head and smiled.

“How does that woman do it?” Kaz said aloud.

Kaz started cheering and gathering the women together and they were all together, some of the women started stripping down, whilst some started to chant and jump around. They all linked arms and formed a barricade and the officers quickly ran towards them to try and break it up but it wasn’t happening. Linda picked up the walkie talkie and went straight to the Governor, saying assistance was required in the yard.

Back in her office, Vera had just gotten the call from Linda and she scowled.

“Just one day is all I ask.” She said looking up.

She quickly left her office to go to the yard, she could already hear screams coming from the women and she really didn’t need to second guess who was behind whatever was happening out in the yard and her assumption was correct when she saw one Kaz Proctor and her ‘gang’ forming a line. What Vera didn’t expect was to see Doreen there and standing next to Joan. She cast a look over to them, a look of disgust and Joan looked away, walking slowly towards them, Vera stood there with one hand on her hip.

“What’s going on here?” Vera shouted.

Kaz stood forward, arms folded and smiling.

“We want conjugal visits.”

“Conjugal visits? All of this for conjugal visits, you realise that I won’t be allowing conjugals now after witnessing this? I wouldn’t be able to trust you with it, look at you all!” Vera scoffed.

“Seems to me like you made the wrong call Proctor.”

Kaz inched forward, all she wanted to do was wipe that smug smile off Vera’s face and she was moving closer and closer to Vera when Vera stood her ground.

“Any of you women not inside in five minutes, you’re going to be slotted. Is that understood?”

The women started shouting and screaming and in between that, Vera turned ready to go back to her office. She was confident her officers were capable of putting the women back into their units and she was heading through the gate when an arm stopped her. She turned and looked, meeting Joan’s eyes.

“You did well.” Joan said with a small smile.

“Get your hand off me, we wouldn’t want you to be seen as a screw lover now would we?”

Vera shook Joan’s arm off her and carried on walking leaving Joan standing there, sadness in her eyes. Hearing the commotion behind her, Joan soon found Kaz and Doreen and they told everyone to get back to their units, on the way back Doreen stopped by her unit and was caught by Bea who looked angry.

“What are you doing siding with them?” Bea asked.

“They were doing it for conjugals Bea, something you’ve not even bothered doing anything about.” Doreen said frustrated.

“Huh, really? What do you think I’ve been doing when I’ve been to see the Governor, having tea and biscuits? Fuck sake Dor.” Bea shot Doreen a look and looked over her shoulder, she saw Joan smirking and she turned and went into her cell and shut the door.

Joan made her way over to Doreen,

“You know, you’re always welcome to come with us.”

“I’ll…um…I’ll think about it.” Doreen said and Joan nodded and walked off, hiding a smile.

Back in her unit, Joan decided to go and lie down for a bit not wanting to be around the others, she thought about what Vera had said and clearly came to the understanding that Vera had somehow been there when she had the conversation with Kaz. If only Vera knew that she didn’t mean any of those words, there had to be someway Joan could fix this. Joan lay down and suddenly an idea came to her, now all she had to do was find Linda Miles.


	21. In writing

Joan knew she didn’t have much time for this plan to work and she quietly left her unit, Kaz was busy talking to Allie about something, it looked like an argument of some sorts and Joan would have to find out what it was later on. She took a fast walk, looking in the different rooms for the blonde officer and eventually, with some luck she found Miss Miles alone. Joan approached her and Linda made a face.

“What do _you_ want?” Linda said.

“A favour.” Joan simply replied and Linda shook her head.

“Forget it, if you think I’m helping you, you’ve got another thing coming.”

“Now, now Miss Miles, I know you used to help the women in here when I was Governor. I have eyes everywhere and I made a big deal about knowing my officers, what they like and dislike, what excites them.” Joan flashed her a smile.

“Let’s say, you do this favour for me and I’ll make sure there’s a healthy deposit put into your bank by tomorrow, I’ve heard there’s a big race on.”

Linda shuffled her feet and pretended to think about it for a minute and then glanced at Joan.

“What is it?”

Joan smiled.

“I would like a piece of paper and a pen or pencil, whatever you prefer.” Joan smirked.

Linda raised her eyebrow and nodded but Joan stopped her.

“I need it before the Governor leaves and one more thing Miss Miles, I need to you take the letter to the Governor.”

Linda looked confused but still went to get what Joan asked for and while Joan waited she thought about what she was going to put in this letter, after all this was the only way she could communicate with Vera at the moment. Not long after, Linda came back with some paper and a pencil and Joan hid the items up her sleeve.

“I’ll come back for lock up.” Linda said and Joan nodded and went back to her unit. She told Kaz she didn’t want to disturbed, said she wasn’t feeling too good and the pain was slightly back from the assault. Running around with the women hadn’t helped but Joan show weakness? Never but for now she had to use this excuse so she wasn’t bothered by anyone, she shut her door and sat on the bed getting the paper and pencil from out of her sleeve and she folded the paper so it was as neat as it was going to get and she picked up the pencil. Joan ran her finger down the pencil and then started writing, at first she thought it would be difficult to write out what she wanted to write but it was surprisingly flowing out, it was silent apart the sound of the pencil against the paper and after pausing a few times and reading through it, Joan was happy and folded the paper up and all she had to do now was wait for Miss Miles to turn up which wouldn’t be long.

Joan hid the paper and pencil just in case and there was a knock on her door and it opened, Kaz was standing there.

“How ya feeling?”

Joan put her best ‘sympathetic’ face on and she sighed.

“Still a bit sore, pushed myself to much earlier on but it was worth it.” Joan said smiling and Kaz sat down on the bed next to her, she was near the paper and pencil and Joan stared down at the spot and then looked up at Kaz.

“It’s my fault, I pushed you to do the riot if it wasn’t for me, you’d be alright now.” Kaz said folding her arms.

“Now, don’t blame yourself Kaz that will do neither of us any good. All I need is a good night’s rest and I’ll be fine tomorrow.” Joan smiled and hoped that Kaz would take the hint.

Kaz stayed there a few more minutes and it looked like she was about to say something else but the sounds of footsteps and voices came from outside and she stood up. Kaz peered around the door and saw the officers,

“I guess its bed time!” Kaz said sarcastically but smiling at Joan.

“Take it easy okay!” She said and Joan nodded.

When Kaz left, the door was open just so Joan could see out and she saw Miss Miles standing there, her back to her but eventually she turned around and Joan quickly got the folded piece of paper and pencil out from under the duvet and she came to her door.

“Miss Miles.” Joan whispered and Linda put her hand behind her back and stretched her arm out and took the items from Joan.

“Payment will be made tomorrow and I will know if you’ve read that, understood? It’s to go strictly to the Governor only, if not there will be no payment.”

Miss Miles nodded and she carefully put the items in her pocket, making sure nobody saw her do it. She walked away and Joan turned around and went back to lying down on the bed with a smile. Joan always knew Linda was an officer who could be easily swayed and this just proved it, now all she had to do was wait for Vera, she would come. She had to.

“Are we getting a new officer tomorrow?” Will asked walking side by side with Vera.

“Yes, we’ve been short staffed for a while now as you know and the new officer is coming from Walford. Wanted a change from a men’s prison, his name is Jake Stewart and I’m going to leave it down to you Will, to show him around the place tomorrow if you could?”

“Of course Governor.”

“Good, come by here tomorrow morning.” Vera said, standing outside of her office.

Will nodded and left Vera who opened the door to her office and went inside, she gently shut the door and turned to her table, sighing. She really had to sort some of the paperwork out, she had let things slip a little bit especially after Joan came into the general. Vera approached her desk and started moving some papers about and she stopped when she picked up a simple folded piece of paper with her name written on the front. She would have pushed it to one side had she not have recognised the hand writing which she did straight away, she was deputy to her for a while it became a daily occurrence having items with her hand writing on it. It was Joan’s handwriting. Vera went to unfold the paper but stopped herself and she went to get her bag out of the locker and put the paper in her bag and left the office.

Vera eventually got home and she went straight to the kitchen to pour herself a drink and then she went outside to sit down. It was a calm and clear night, the soft buzzing of insects nearby and Vera took a sip from her drink and then placed it on the nearby table and bent down to pick her bag up. She took the piece of paper out and held it in her hands, her bag now on the floor. She traced her finger along her name written on the paper and took a deep breath before unfolding it and she started to read it.

 

_My dearest Vera,_

_I now know why you don’t want to talk to me and that’s because_

_You heard the conversation I had with Kaz but you need to realise that what you heard was only lies._

_I_ _was just trying to protect myself, I had to keep up appearances_

_and it wouldn’t have done either of us any good if that woman was catching on that there is something between us._

_I was protecting you Vera._

_That’s all I’ve ever wanted to do is protect you, I detest not being able to see you right now_

_and I can’t wait for when I am out of here and we can go back to the way we were._

_I miss those times we spent together, I miss the way that whenever I touched you, you would give in to me entirely._

_I miss that night we spent together and I dream for many more to come._

_I’m yours Vera, I always have been._

_Joan._

Vera held the paper in her one hand and wiped the tear that had fallen down her cheek, she couldn’t help but read it again and she smiled. It was okay, everything was okay.


	22. Vanilla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You may have noticed the name of the title, I had to put vanilla in here somewhere ;) 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter, it's more fluff this chapter but it won't all be fluff. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading this and commenting and giving kudos, it means a lot!

Vera hurried into the correctional building, she was running a bit late this morning and of course the new officer would arrive soon. Vera looked at the time, walking faster until she came to her office and she saw the new officer sitting down on the chair inside her office. Vera opened the door and the man stood up.

“Governor.” He said and stretched his arm out.

“Officer Jake Stewart, a pleasure to finally meet you.” Vera shook his hand and watched as his eyes travelled down her body and she let go of his hand and turned away, sitting in her own chair opposite him.

“So tell me, why the move from Walford?” Vera asked casually and Jake sat down and smiled.

“I wanted to know what it’s like working in a women’s prison, I’ve heard some things. They’re worse than the men some say.” Jake laughed and Vera just stared at him.

“I’m always up for a challenge.” Jake added and Vera nodded.

“Good, well I’m called my Deputy Officer in, he should be here any minute now and he will show you around the prison. I’m sorry I can’t but I’m busy.”

“That’s okay Governor, I’m sure we’ll catch up some other time.” Jake smiled and it made Vera feel uneasy and luckily, there was a knock on the door and it was Will.

After explaining who Jake was to Will, Vera sent them off to begin their shift and she sat down. The first thing she needed to do was see Joan and she couldn’t go to the unit, not again this time she would have to call Joan into the office. After sending off the instructions, Vera waited and whilst she waited she thought about the letter again. She thought about how she had already read it numerous times and it was currently sitting on her bedside table neatly folded. Lost in her thoughts, Vera didn’t realise how much time had passed, the loud knock on her door interrupted her thoughts and she cleared her throat and sat up straight.

“Come in.”

“Ferguson for you Governor.” An officer said.

“Thank you that will be all.” Vera said dismissing the officer.

Joan stood by the now shut door and looked over at Vera,

“Sit down please.” Vera said and Joan made her way over to the chair and sat down.

“I um…well I don’t really know what to say, I mean of course I’m sorry and I got everything wrong and I just…”

“Vera.”

Vera looked up at the sound of Joan’s voice.

“Relax, dear, I can see how tense you are and uncomfortable. Do I still make you feel this way?” Joan said, a tiny bit of hurt coming through her voice.

“Of course not, no. I’m just nervous, that letter was beyond beautiful and I don’t know how you managed to write it and get it on my desk but I don’t care.” Vera smiled and Joan smirked.

“I meant every word of it.” Joan said seriously.

“I know you do and it scares me.” Vera whispered.

“What if one day you realise I’m not good enough, no one ever stays in my life and no one’s ever been interested in me.”

Joan shook her head and she looked to the blinds and shut them and slightly wiped her hand on her pants, she then made her way over to Vera and knelt down so she could see Vera better.

“My dear, you are good enough, more than good and I’m not going anywhere. I want well I’m not one to talk about what goes on up here.” Joan pointed to her head and laughed. “But I’m staying, I want to build a life with you Vera.”

“You do?” Vera asked quietly and Joan stood up motioning for Vera to do the same and Joan gently kissed the top of Vera’s head.

“I do.”

Vera gripped onto Joan’s arm and leaned in closer, she felt those warm, inviting hands wrap around her waist and it felt incredible. She had missed this feeling so much and she wanted to imprint every touch, every detail into her mind. Vera lay her head against Joan’s chest, keeping the warm embrace not ever wanting to lose this contact and she felt Joan softly nuzzle her cheek against her hair.

“Mm Vera I approve.” Joan said a wicked glint in her eye.

Vera looked up, face confused.

“You smell like vanilla, my favourite.” Joan whispered softly.

Vera chuckled and Joan cupped Vera’s cheek with her hand, she gazed into Vera’s eyes and it was a look Vera had seen before, that sultry look.

“I want to know if you taste like it to.”

Vera’s eyes widened and she felt her cheeks flame up, why did she have to blush? Joan chuckled.

“You’re a little red there, you feeling okay Governor?” Joan asked and Vera shook her head grinning.

“Just fine and as for tasting me, you’ll have to be patient.” Vera said winking.

“Are you sure I can’t…” Joan moved her hands up Vera’s body and Vera responded immediately, moaning quietly.

“Joaaan…oh Joan stop please we can’t.”

Joan stopped, understanding why Vera said no.

“I’m sorry.” Vera said.

“Don’t be, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Joan said lifting Vera’s hand up to her mouth and kissing it.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Vera said.

“Likewise.” Joan replied holding Vera.

“I want to stay like this forever.”

“All in good time.” Joan said and suddenly a knock at the door made the two women jump apart, Joan went and sat back down and Vera straightened her uniform calling for whoever was at the door to come in. It was the new officer, Jake looked between the two women and then he stopped for a minute just gazing at Joan.

“You’re the ex-Governor aren’t you?” Jake asked and Joan looked unimpressed.

“And you are Officer Jake Stewart, you worked at Walford but got transferred here. I wonder why that is.” Joan said smiling slightly and Jake looked mildly uncomfortable.

Vera looked to Joan with a confused expression, that woman really did know everything…like how did she know? Vera just shook her head slightly and looked at Jake.

“Officer Stewart, what do you want?”

“Oh I was just wondering if you wanted that catch up now.” Jake grinned and Joan stood up, she flexed her hands.

“I’m still busy right now as you can see, come back later tonight and we will discuss today.”

Jake nodded and left the office and Joan turned to Vera with a stormy expression.

“You cannot trust him, the imbecile. Who does he think he is? You will tell me if he does anything that makes you feel uncomfortable won’t you?” Joan said seriously.

“I will.” Vera said and she held Joan’s hand.

“You’re going to have to go back to your unit.” Vera said quietly.

“Don’t be sad my Vera, till next time…” Joan said as she squeezes Vera’s hand and smiled, then turned to open the door.


	23. Holding you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I um, well that was certainly a finale wasn't it!   
> I guess I needed to have this chapter full of fluffs to attempt to cheer us up!  
> Hope you enjoy it :)

Vera sighed as she looked at the shift patterns, they were already officers down and tomorrow’s night shift was understaffed. She kept looking up expecting to see Joan there but every time she looked up, there was no one there and an idea came to her. If she did some overtime tomorrow, that would mean more time with Joan, Vera smiled and picked a pen and went through some paperwork.

She hadn’t seen Joan at all the rest of the day and when Vera got home it was then that she truly realised how hard this was becoming. Vera knew the trial was coming up soon and she would of course stand by Joan and help her in any way she could but she hated being alone in her house, waking up with no one beside her. Sighing, Vera headed up to her bedroom and lay down on her bed, she turned to her side and stared at the letter Joan had written for her and she lifted her hand over to it and smiled.

_“You want this Vera; I can tell by how wet you are. It’s been far too long since this has happened.”_

_Vera moaned as she felt Joan teasing her entrance with the tip of her fingers, she could see that teasing smile, that fire in her eyes and that beautiful glow._

_“Please Joan…” Vera whined and Joan chuckled._

_“You aren’t being very patient are you my dear?”_

_“I want…you to ohhh just fuck me please.”_

_Joan smirked and without warning pushed her fingers inside of Vera and Vera curled her toes, she widened her legs and reached out for anything to hold as she moaned Joan’s name…_

Vera woke up, a sheen of sweat across her forehead and her heart beating fast, blurry eyed she looked around her bedroom.

“It was just a dream…” Vera whispered, shaking her head she was having too many of these.

After the dream, Vera got out of bed and into her uniform there wasn’t that much time left before she needed to leave and besides she wanted to keep herself busy, anything to stop herself from thinking about that dream again…it felt so real. Time went by and Vera arrived at work, she called a staff meeting introducing everyone to the newest officer, Jake Stewart and asked if anybody wanted to offer their time to do the nightshift and explained she would be doing it as well. Will Jackson said he would do it and Jake piped up as well, Vera raised her eyebrow.

“Well, okay…good. That’s all.”

Before Vera could turn, Will came up to her.

“Governor, just to let you know I’ve had to put Ferguson in the slot.”

Vera shot Will a look.

“Why?!”

“There was an altercation between Ferguson and Smith, all I saw was Ferguson having ago and when I went to break it up, Ferguson gave me some abuse thought it was best to slot her.”

Vera nodded though she had a feeling Will was exaggerating some.

“Well in future, don’t stay around her okay. I’ve told you not to have any contact with her.”

“Um, yes Governor. Sorry.” Will said and walked off.

Vera made her way to where Joan was, after last time putting her in the slot and the way she reacted Vera knew it wasn’t at all safe for Joan to be there. She stood outside the door and watched Joan sitting on the bed and staring at the wall in front of her, Vera stood there a good five minutes before she opened the door and Joan turned to her and smiled.

“I understand you had an altercation with Smith?” Vera said.

“I didn’t do anything; Mr Jackson is just trying to punish me surely you can see that.”

“Well you know, you’re going to have to stay here for the night I can’t be seen giving you special treatment.”

Joan smiled, “I know that Vera, it’s okay.”

“I’m working the night shift.” Vera said as Joan spoke and Joan looked to her with a questioning look.

“The Governor working a night shift?”

“Well we’re understaffed and I thought if I did the night shift well I will only do half of it, I could well…I could um spend some time with you.” Vera let a deep breath out.

“My sweet, dear Vera.” Joan reached over and held Vera’s hand.

“I will be okay.” Joan said and Vera nodded.

Vera knew she couldn’t stay here for long and she held onto Joan’s hand a little longer, feeling the warmth and she stroked her fingers across Joan’s wrist.

“I have to go but I’ll be back later…stay out of trouble!” Vera said giving Joan a look.

“I’m hardly going to start a riot in here now am I?” Joan said.

“I wouldn’t put anything past you.” Vera said teasingly and Joan chuckled softly, she watched Vera exit the room and turn to look in on her and they smiled at one another. This was good, Joan had something to look forward to now. Truthfully she was somewhat worried about being in the slot again especially after what happened last time but she didn’t want to show that worry and besides knowing Vera was going to visit later was enough to calm her. Time passed, Joan didn’t know what time it actually but she guessed it was getting late, she was hoping that any minute now Vera would turn up. Joan stood up and walked around the small room for a bit and as time went by, there was still no sign of Vera and Joan sat down on the bed, anger pulsing through her body. Vera had said she was going to come and she hadn’t. Joan heard some noise from outside and she lifted her head up and looked towards the door, she heard muffled voices but couldn’t make out who it was and her eyes lit up as she saw Vera standing by the door and looking like she was talking to someone, an officer no doubt. The door opened and Vera walked inside, she took one look at Joan and saw panic written all over her face, she walked to Joan's side.

"Are you okay?" Vera asked concerned and Joan smiled. 

"I am now." 

Vera bit the inside of her lip hiding a smile but Joan noticed. 

"What are you smiling at hm?" Joan asked. 

"Just...this softer side, no one would believe it, no matter how many times I would tell them. Most people are scared of you." 

"Good." Joan said and Vera chuckled.

"You know you're just a teddy bear." Vera said playfully.

"A teddy bear? Now I've never been called that before." Joan said, her tone light. 

Joan patted the bed and Vera sat down, she turned to Joan and reached out touching Joan's face with her hand. 

"I've missed you." Vera whispered. 

"I want you to..." Vera stopped herself from finishing.

"You want me to do what?" Joan asked and Vera looked down.

"I want you to hold me." Vera was still looking down at floor, obviously embarrassed but Joan asked her to lie down on the bed and Vera did just that. Vera knew they would be okay, all necessary action had been put in place so they wouldn't get caught out and Vera lay on the bed, feeling the slight dip behind her as Joan lay next to her and Joan wrapped her arms around Vera bringing her in for a cuddle. Vera could feel the tears forming in her eyes, she had missed this so much and she couldn't think of anything else she wanted, anywhere else she'd rather be. 

No, this was perfection, being in Joan's arms. 


	24. Development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really sorry I've taken so long to update, thank you all for still reading and being patient.  
> 1 more chapter to go after this one!

A few weeks had passed since Vera and Joan saw one another, it had been particular busy around the prison so much, that every time Vera went to talk to Joan something had come up and now it was the day. Joan would be in court ready to hear her verdict and Vera couldn’t help but feel nervous, she had tried to help Joan in every way possible, she had gone through it on her own when she was at home but with this one witness, this Nils Jesper it seemed that with him it was a losing battle before it even began.

Vera walked to her office and looked at the time, Joan should be getting ready just about now and Vera tapped her finger on the desk. Joan wouldn’t go to the trial without a plan would she? Vera thought about this all the time, after knowing Joan and how prepared she is and how she’s always one step ahead. Vera couldn’t imagine Joan turning up at court without a plan of some sorts. The problem was, it worried Vera as to what plan that was. There was a knock on the office door and Vera said come in, it was Linda.

“Prisoner Ferguson is ready to go.”

Vera nodded, stood up and walked past Linda.

“She’s been pretty difficult.” Linda said and Vera sighed.

“When has she ever been easy to deal with hm? We all expected this today of all days. Just don’t let her get to you okay? I’m sure she’s just worried about today but she likes to hide it.” Vera said and Linda gave her a look.

“What?” Vera asked suddenly nervous and Linda shrugged.

“You seem to know a lot about Ferguson.”

“Because I used to be her deputy!” Vera said with an icy tone.

The prison van was in sight and Vera made sure that everything was in order and she turned and came face to face with Joan. Memories of that night when they lay together came flooding back and Vera felt herself become hot.

“Um…I.” Vera mumbled and Joan stopped her.

Vera cleared her throat and straightened her jacket, she was about to assist Joan to the van but then there was a phone call and she turned to the officer who picked it up and she watched them nod then look to her.

“Governor.” The officer said passing the phone to Vera and Joan looked on with a curious expression.

“Do we know what’s happened?” Vera said and then there was silence.

“Well you know what that means then.” Vera added.

“Yes, well thank you for letting me know.” Vera gave the phone to the officer.

“Miss Miles, could you please escort prisoner Ferguson to my office please.”

“But the court…I thought she needed to be at court?” Linda said confused.

“There’s been a development and it seems court has been delayed for the time being.” Vera looked to Joan who was furrowing her brow and Vera smiled at Joan, a slight smile that Joan picked up on. Linda obeyed Vera's orders and Vera followed them from a distance, it was a lot to take in for Vera knowing what this meant and to be honest she couldn't wait to tell Joan as terrible as the news was, it was also the news Vera had hoped for. They got to Vera's office and Linda left them to it and when Vera closed the door, she turned around to Joan with a big smile on her face.

“What is it?” Joan asked.

“I feel like I shouldn’t be smiling this much but do you realise what this means?” Vera said the words tumbling from her mouth.

“Slow down my dear, you need to explain to me what’s happened.” Joan said and Vera took a breath.

“Oh I’m sorry, I guess I’m just excited.” Vera said sheepishly.

“That phone call was to tell me that Nils Jesper was found dead about an hour ago, it seems someone at Walford wanted him gone. I suppose he said something or did something to the wrong person and this is what it resulted in.”

“Hm.” Joan said.

“You know what this means though?” Vera said.

“I do my dear, there is no case. They will have to drop the charges, I told you didn’t I?” Joan said smiling and Vera practically bounced.

There was a knock on her door and she sighed,

“We always get interrupted.” Vera muttered.

“Not for long.” Joan said smirking.

Jake walked in and he stared at Joan, a somewhat fearful expression that Vera completely missed. She looked to Jake,

“Yes Officer Stewart?”

“Oh well, I was wondering if you fancied that…drink?” Jake asked, his eyes focused on Joan the entire time and Vera just shook her head.

“Look I’m the governor here, I’m not interested in you okay? I expect you to do your job and that’s it, is that clear?” Vera said strongly and just as Jake was about to reply, the office phone started ringing.

“Stay there.” Vera said looking at the both of them and Vera picked up the phone and had her back to both Joan and Jake.

“If you’re waiting for a thank you from me, that will never happen.” Joan said casually.

“You see what the problem is? You thought you could take me on Mr Stewart and look what happened. I know everything about everybody, don’t make the mistake of crossing me again.” Joan added, her eyes burning holes through Jake.

“I put my job, my life on the line for you. I went back to Walford and made this happen, you’re a free woman now! You owe me your life.” Jake said his voice shaking slightly.

“If I was you, I would carry on doing my job and keeping out of the way especially where Miss Bennett is concerned. Is that understood?”

Jake clenched his fists and Vera turned around her eyes going back and forth between the two of them, she felt like she had just missed something massive. She could tell by Jake’s face, he looked hurt, angry and upset but Vera didn’t have time to ask because Jake left the office without a word.

“I’m going to take you to court now.”

“Oh you are?” Joan asked.

“Well you know what I mean.” Vera said chuckling and playfully bumping Joan’s shoulder.

“Joan….you’re going to a free woman by tonight.” Vera said and she grinned.

“Yes I am; I was thinking dinner at my place?” Joan asked, her eyebrow raised waiting for an answer.

Vera flashed Joan the biggest smile. "I'd love nothing more."


	25. Come together

 

“Set the table for us dear, dinner won’t be long.” Joan said as Vera stood by her side, Vera slowly glided her fingers down Joan’s arm and Joan smiled bringing her hand to cup Vera’s cheek.

“Or we can have dinner later.” Joan whispered as she inched closer to Vera and kissed her, she picked Vera up so that she was sitting on the counter. All thoughts of it being unsanitary gone from Joan’s mind and she deepened the kiss, the responses from Vera spurring Joan on even more. Tongues battled for dominance and Joan gently bit Vera’s lip, heavy breaths coming from both women and when they parted Joan looked into Vera’s glazed eyes.

“Bedroom.” Vera nodded and Joan helped her down and turned everything off, leaving dinner to get cold and it didn’t bother Joan, it didn’t matter. They got to the top of the stairs and into Joan’s bedroom and Vera watched as Joan moved around her immaculate bedroom with comfort. This was the side of Joan that Vera loved to see, the care free Joan who just looked relaxed and happy. Vera still couldn’t believe that here they were, together at last, it had been so difficult and they had to go through so much but they overcome it and finally Vera could say things were going her way, she had somebody who cared about her.

“You seem miles away my dear, are you okay?” Joan asked standing in front of Vera.

“I was just thinking…about all we’ve been through and for once in my life something good has happened. I still can’t believe that here we are now, it’s just I’m happy, really happy.”

“And so am I Vera, very much so.”

Vera grinned, one of those rare grins only Joan had seen though she loved to see them and Joan gently pushed Vera onto the bed so she was lay down and Joan came to lie down to the side of her. She felt Vera move in closer to her, warmth surrounded her, a feeling she wasn’t used to and she didn’t want to ever let go of it. Vera turned on her side, nuzzling into Joan’s neck,

“I love you.” Vera whispered kissing Joan’s neck.

Vera sat up, her hands gently unbuttoning Joan’s trousers and she helped Joan sit up to so then she could take off Joan’s shirt.

“It works both ways.” Joan said raised her eyebrow mischievously and Vera laughed.

It didn’t take long for both women to take all of their clothes off and this always made Vera nervous and hesitant and Joan could tell, she took Vera’s hand and softly kissed it and they both got onto the bed and under the covers.

“We don’t have to do anything my dear, not if you don’t want to.” Joan said holding Vera.

Vera straddled Joan and brought her mouth down to Joan’s breast and swirled her tongue around the pert nipple. She gently bit downing tease Joan, using her other hand to play with Joan’s other nipple. She could hear the pattern changing in Joan’s breath, her chest rising and falling increasing with speed.

“Mm Vera…” Joan moaned her back arching slightly.

“You’re beautiful.” Vera murmured, her hand travelling down, she could feel the goosebumps that formed on Joan’s body.

“I love every part of your body, those times I dreamed of this moment and it’s finally happening.” Vera peppered small kisses across Joan’s thigh. Joan couldn’t help but tense her body, the little touches from Vera were driving her crazy, she had ached for Vera’s touch for so long, her body right now had a mind of its own, everything was responding from the kisses, the touches, the licks. Vera moved so she was in a better position and she looked up at Joan, a twinkle in her eyes and she parted Joan’s legs, bent down and slid her tongue through Joan’s wetness. Joan responded instantly, moaning and arching her back, noises Vera had never heard before but she was definitely loving them and wanted to hear more. Vera teased Joan’s clit with her tongue, circling around it, making patterns and tasting Joan.

Joan knew that teasing or not, she was close and she tried moving her body slightly so Vera would be where she needed her but Vera stopped and looked up at Joan, her mouth glistening.

“Vera please.” Joan said, almost begging.

“Please what?”

Joan huffed which Vera found incredibly adorable,

“You know what…” Joan said trying to hide her smile but Vera saw straight through her.

“Hm?” Vera said still looking at Joan and with no warning she pushed two fingers into Joan, Vera kept a steady pace with her fingers, pumping in and out of Joan’s centre and she moved up so she could kiss Joan, swiping her tongue across Joan’s bottom lip.

“Tell me what you want.” Vera whispered.

“I want you to take me Vera, make me moan, make love to me…ohh just fuck me.”

Vera clenched her thighs, feeling herself getting wetter and she thrust her fingers harder and faster and she added a third finger, she kissed Joan just below her collarbone and she felt Joan tense up, she looked up so she could see this moment and gazed at Joan. Joan’s eyes were closed, her hands clenching the sheets and her back slightly arched. Joan gripped Vera’s waist holding her close and she moaned, a long deep moan in Vera’s ear and Vera slowed her hand movement then moved her hand and rested her head on Joan’s chest.

“That was so beautiful, you are perfect” Vera said tears in her eyes.

“Thank you…” Joan said softly.

“Thank you for everything, you stood by me and believed in me. Thank you for loving somebody like me. You truly mean a lot to me and Vera, my dear Vera you must realise how much I love you.”

“As much as I love you?”

“And more.” Joan added and Vera chuckled.

“We have the rest of our lives together now and I can’t wait.” Joan said stroking Vera’s hair.

“I can’t wait.” Joan whispered kissing Vera’s head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all of you who have read, reviewed and pushed the little kudos button. 
> 
> It's all been greatly appreciated and I hope you've all enjoyed this fic as much as I have writing it :)


End file.
